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The Teenie Weenies in the Wildwood

Chapter Twenty THE DUNCE LOOKS FOR EXCITEMENT
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from the new trenches the teenie weenies could see the wild men’s fort plainly. the little soldiers had to be very careful, however, for every time they showed themselves the wild men would let fly a shower of arrows. the soldiers thought it great fun to put their hats on sticks and push them out in sight of the wild men. at first this brought a tremendous number of arrows, but finally the wild men caught onto the trick and only an occasional arrow would fly at the exposed hat.

the men took turns guarding the front trenches. it was very tiresome work sitting in the narrow ditch waiting for something to happen and most of the soldiers would have welcomed the order to storm the wild men’s fort.

“i can’t see why the general doesn’t get busy and take the fort,” growled the scotchman one afternoon. several of the men, who were off duty, were lying in a mossy place under some big ferns, discussing the matter. “we’ve got everything ready for the attack, the men are more than anxious to go into action and we could lick the stuffin’ out of the saboes.”

“keep cool, scotty; we’ll get a chance soon enough,” said the turk, who was very quiet and always took things calmly. “the general knows what he’s about and when he gets his plans ready, we’ll get all the excitement we want.”

“excitement!” exclaimed the dunce. “that’s me. i’ve got to have some excitement; i’m sick and tired of sittin’ around here without anything doin’.”

“let’s get our guns and go out and see if we can’t shoot some dragon flies or mosquitoes,” suggested the sailor.

“nah, that ain’t dangerous enough,” answered the dunce. “i want to do something that will give me a thrill,” and getting up he slowly walked towards the tall grass near the teenie weenie camp.

the general had given orders that none of the soldiers should leave camp, for the grass was so tangled and thick that it would be an easy thing to get lost and, besides, the savage wild men might be hiding behind the thick stalks of grass.

“jinks!” thought the dunce as he peered into the dense grass, “the general wouldn’t scold me if i happened to stroll out there and capture a wild man.”

after some minutes of thought, the dunce hurried to his tent, got his gun and sneaked unseen out of camp into the dark grass. he stumbled along for some time without making much headway, for the stalks of grass grew close together and the dead leaves tangled about his feet at almost every step. presently he came to an open spot near the edge of the island, where he found walking much easier, but he had gone only a short distance when he suddenly saw four wild men ahead of him.

“throw up your hands—you’re surrounded!” shouted the dunce, pointing his gun towards them.

the wild men, not understanding the teenie weenie language, started running towards the dunce with loud yells.

the poor dunce was so badly frightened he forgot to fire his gun and turning about he ran as fast as his short legs could carry him towards the teenie weenie camp.

the army aviator, who happened to be scouting above the shore of the island, saw the dunce being chased by the wild men.

“quick!” he shouted to the bird on which he flew. “fly just as close as you can to the dunce and i’ll grab him as we sail by.”

the bird flew straight for the ground and holding tight to its neck, the aviator grabbed the dunce by the collar and snatched him from the very hands of the wild men.

the turk pulled the frightened dunce up on the bird’s back and a few minutes later they landed safely in the teenie weenie camp.

“well, sir,” said the general when he had heard the turk’s story of the rescue, “what were you doing outside the camp without permission to go out?”

“i-i-i-i j-j-just wanted s-s-some excitement and i-i-i-i thought i’d go out and s-s-see if i-i-i couldn’t capture a wild man,” stammered the frightened dunce.

“well, did you capture any of them?” asked the general with a wink at the old soldier.

“w-w-w-well, i-i surrounded f-f-four of ’em, but they wouldn’t stay surrounded and they started to chase me, so i-i-i had to r-r-run.”

“well, did you get any excitement?” smiled the general.

“oh, yes, sir, i-i-i got more than i-i-i was looking for.”

“well, sir,” said the general, “i hope you got enough excitement to last you for a long time. you are guilty of an act of leaving camp without permission and i find it necessary to place you under arrest.”

the poor dunce was marched off between four soldiers to the tiny guard house, where he was left to think over his disobedience.

the army aviator snatches the dunce from the hands of the wild men.—chapter twenty.

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