one day we took the train and went down to mannheim to see “king lear” played in german. it was a mistake. we sat in our seats three whole hours and never understood anything but the thunder and lightning; and even that was reversed to suit german ideas, for the thunder came first and the lightning followed after.

the behavior of the audience was perfect. there were no rustlings, or whisperings, or other little disturbances; each act was listened to in silence, and the applauding was done after the curtain was down. the doors opened at half past four, the play began promptly at half past five, and within two minutes afterward all who were coming were in their seats, and quiet reigned. a german gentleman in the train had said that a shakespearian play was an appreciated treat in germany and that we should find the house filled. it was true; all the six tiers were filled, and remained so to the end—which suggested that it is not only balcony people who like shakespeare in germany, but those of the pit and gallery, too.

another time, we went to mannheim and attended a shivaree—otherwise an opera—the one called “lohengrin.” the banging and slamming and booming and crashing were something beyond belief. the racking and pitiless pain of it remains stored up in my memory alongside the memory of the time that i had my teeth fixed.

there were circumstances which made it necessary for me to stay through the four hours to the end, and i stayed; but the recollection of that long, dragging, relentless season of suffering is indestructible. to have to endure it in silence, and sitting still, made it all the harder. i was in a railed compartment with eight or ten strangers, of the two sexes, and this compelled repression; yet at times the pain was so exquisite that i could hardly keep the tears back.

at those times, as the howlings and wailings and shrieking of the singers, and the ragings and roarings and explosions of the vast orchestra rose higher and higher, and wilder and wilder, and fiercer and fiercer, i could have cried if i had been alone. those strangers would not have been surprised to see a man do such a thing who was being gradually skinned, but they would have marveled at it here, and made remarks about it no doubt, whereas there was nothing in the present case which was an advantage over being skinned.

there was a wait of half an hour at the end of the first act, and i could have gone out and rested during that time, but i could not trust myself to do it, for i felt that i should desert to stay out. there was another wait of half an hour toward nine o’clock, but i had gone through so much by that time that i had no spirit left, and so had no desire but to be let alone.

i do not wish to suggest that the rest of the people there were like me, for, indeed, they were not. whether it was that they naturally liked that noise, or whether it was that they had learned to like it by getting used to it, i did not at the time know; but they did like it—this was plain enough. while it was going on they sat and looked as rapt and grateful as cats do when one strokes their backs; and whenever the curtain fell they rose to their feet, in one solid mighty multitude, and the air was snowed thick with waving handkerchiefs, and hurricanes of applause swept the place. this was not comprehensible to me. of course, there were many people there who were not under compulsion to stay; yet the tiers were as full at the close as they had been at the beginning. this showed that the people liked it.

it was a curious sort of a play. in the manner of costumes and scenery it was fine and showy enough; but there was not much action. that is to say, there was not much really done, it was only talked about; and always violently. it was what one might call a narrative play. everybody had a narrative and a grievance, and none were reasonable about it, but all in an offensive and ungovernable state. there was little of that sort of customary thing where the tenor and the soprano stand down by the footlights, warbling, with blended voices, and keep holding out their arms toward each other and drawing them back and spreading both hands over first one breast and then the other with a shake and a pressure—no, it was every rioter for himself and no blending. each sang his indictive narrative in turn, accompanied by the whole orchestra of sixty instruments, and when this had continued for some time, and one was hoping they might come to an understanding and modify the noise, a great chorus composed entirely of maniacs would suddenly break forth, and then during two minutes, and sometimes three, i lived over again all that i suffered the time the orphan asylum burned down.

we only had one brief little season of heaven and heaven’s sweet ecstasy and peace during all this long and diligent and acrimonious reproduction of the other place. this was while a gorgeous procession of people marched around and around, in the third act, and sang the wedding chorus. to my untutored ear that was music—almost divine music. while my seared soul was steeped in the healing balm of those gracious sounds, it seemed to me that i could almost resuffer the torments which had gone before, in order to be so healed again. there is where the deep ingenuity of the operatic idea is betrayed. it deals so largely in pain that its scattered delights are prodigiously augmented by the contrasts. a pretty air in an opera is prettier there than it could be anywhere else, i suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.

i have since found out that there is nothing the germans like so much as an opera. they like it, not in a mild and moderate way, but with their whole hearts. this is a legitimate result of habit and education. our nation will like the opera, too, by and by, no doubt. one in fifty of those who attend our operas likes it already, perhaps, but i think a good many of the other forty-nine go in order to learn to like it, and the rest in order to be able to talk knowingly about it. the latter usually hum the airs while they are being sung, so that their neighbors may perceive that they have been to operas before. the funerals of these do not occur often enough.

a gentle, old-maidish person and a sweet young girl of seventeen sat right in front of us that night at the mannheim opera. these people talked, between the acts, and i understood them, though i understood nothing that was uttered on the distant stage. at first they were guarded in their talk, but after they had heard my agent and me conversing in english they dropped their reserve and i picked up many of their little confidences; no, i mean many of her little confidences—meaning the elder party—for the young girl only listened, and gave assenting nods, but never said a word. how pretty she was, and how sweet she was! i wished she would speak. but evidently she was absorbed in her own thoughts, her own young-girl dreams, and found a dearer pleasure in silence. but she was not dreaming sleepy dreams—no, she was awake, alive, alert, she could not sit still a moment. she was an enchanting study. her gown was of a soft white silky stuff that clung to her round young figure like a fish’s skin, and it was rippled over with the gracefulest little fringy films of lace; she had deep, tender eyes, with long, curved lashes; and she had peachy cheeks, and a dimpled chin, and such a dear little rosebud of a mouth; and she was so dovelike, so pure, and so gracious, so sweet and so bewitching. for long hours i did mightily wish she would speak. and at last she did; the red lips parted, and out leaps her thought—and with such a guileless and pretty enthusiasm, too: “auntie, i just know i’ve got five hundred fleas on me!”

that was probably over the average. yes, it must have been very much over the average. the average at that time in the grand duchy of baden was forty-five to a young person (when alone), according to the official estimate of the home secretary for that year; the average for older people was shifty and indeterminable, for whenever a wholesome young girl came into the presence of her elders she immediately lowered their average and raised her own. she became a sort of contribution-box.

this dear young thing in the theater had been sitting there unconsciously taking up a collection. many a skinny old being in our neighborhood was the happier and the restfuler for her coming.

in that large audience, that night, there were eight very conspicuous people. these were ladies who had their hats or bonnets on. what a blessed thing it would be if a lady could make herself conspicuous in our theaters by wearing her hat.

it is not usual in europe to allow ladies and gentlemen to take bonnets, hats, overcoats, canes, or umbrellas into the auditorium, but in mannheim this rule was not enforced because the audiences were largely made up of people from a distance, and among these were always a few timid ladies who were afraid that if they had to go into an anteroom to get their things when the play was over, they would miss their train. but the great mass of those who came from a distance always ran the risk and took the chances, preferring the loss of a train to a breach of good manners and the discomfort of being unpleasantly conspicuous during a stretch of three or four hours.