philosophical remarks on “life”—a monkey shot and a monkey found—jacko described.

“such is life!” there is deep meaning in that expression, though it is generally applied in a bantering manner to life in all its phases, under all its peculiar and diversified circumstances. taking a particular view of things in general, we may say of life that it is composed of diverse and miscellaneous materials—the grave and the gay; the sad and the comic; the extraordinary and the commonplace; the flat and the piquant; the heavy and the light; the religious and the profane; the bright and the dark; the shadow and the sunshine. all these, and a great deal more, similar as well as dissimilar, enter into the composition of what we familiarly term life.

these elements, too, are not arranged according to order, at least, order that is perceptible to our feeble human understandings. that there does exist both order and harmony is undeniable; but we cannot see it. the elements appear to be miscellaneously intermingled—to be accidentally thrown together; yet, while looking at them in detail there seems to us a good deal of unreasonable and chaotic jumble, in regarding them as a whole, or as a series of wholes, it becomes apparent that there is a certain harmony of arrangement that may be termed kaleidoscopically beautiful; and when, in the course of events, we are called to the contemplation of something grand or lovely, followed rather abruptly by something curiously contemptible or absurd, we are tempted to give utterance to the thoughts that are too complicated and deep for rapid analysis, in the curt expression “such is life.”

the physician invites his friends to a social réunion. he chats and laughs at the passing jest, or takes part in the music—the glee, or the comic song. a servant whispers in his ear. ten minutes elapse, and he is standing by the bed of death. he watches the flickering flame; he endeavours to relieve the agonised frame; he wipes the cold sweat from the pale brow, and moistens the dry lips, or pours words of true, earnest, tender comfort into the ears of the bereaved. the contrast here is very violent and sudden. we have chosen, perhaps, the most striking instance of the kind that is afforded in the experience of men; yet such, in a greater or less degree, is life, in the case of every one born into this wonderful world of ours, and such, undoubtedly, it was intended to be. “there is a time for all things.” we were made capable of laughing and crying; therefore, these being sinless indulgences in the abstract, we ought to laugh and cry. and one of our great aims in life should be to get our hearts and affections so trained that we shall laugh and cry at the right time. it may be well to remark, in passing, that we should avoid, if possible, doing both at once.

now, such being life, we consider that we shall be doing no violence to the harmonies of life if we suddenly, and without further preface, transport the reader into the middle of next day, and a considerable distance down the river up which we have for some time been travelling.

here he (or she) will find ailie and her father, and the whole party in fact, floating calmly and pleasantly down the stream in their canoe.

“now, this is wot i do enjoy,” said rokens, laying down his paddle and wiping the perspiration from his brow; “it’s the pleasantest sort o’ thing i’ve known since i went to sea.”

to judge from the profuse perspiration that flowed from his brow, and from the excessive redness of his face, one would suppose that rokens’ experience of “pleasant sort o’ things” had not hitherto been either extensive or deep. but the man meant what he said, and a well-known proverb clears up the mystery— “what’s one man’s meat is another’s poison!” hard work, violent physical exertion, and excessive heat were rokens’ delight, and, whatever may be the opinion of flabby-muscled, flat individuals, there can be no reasonable doubt that rokens meant it, when he added, emphatically, “it’s fuss-rate; tip-top; a1 on lloyd’s, that’s a fact!”

phil briant, on hearing this, laid down his paddle, also wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his coat, and exclaimed— “ditto, says i.”

whereupon glynn laughed, and jim scroggles grunted (this being his method of laughing), and the captain shook his head, and said—

“p’r’aps it is, my lads, a pleasant sort o’ thing, but the sooner we’re out of it the better. i’ve no notion of a country where the natives murder poor little boys in cold blood, and carry off your goods and chattels at a moment’s notice.”

the captain looked at ailie as he spoke, thereby implying that she was part of the “goods and chattels” referred to.

“shure it’s a fact; an’ without sayin’ by yer lave, too,” added briant, who had a happy facility of changing his opinion on the shortest notice to accommodate himself to circumstances.

“oh, the monkey!” screamed ailie.

now as ailie screamed this just as briant ceased to speak, and, moreover, pointed, or appeared to point, straight into that individual’s face, it was natural to suppose that the child was becoming somewhat personal—the more so that briant’s visage, when wrinkled up and tanned by the glare of a tropical sun, was not unlike to that of a large baboon. but every one knew that ailie was a gentle, well-behaved creature—except, perhaps, when she was seized with one of her gleeful fits that bordered sometimes upon mischief—so that instead of supposing that she had made a personal attack on the unoffending irishman, the boat’s crew instantly directed their eyes close past briant’s face and into the recesses of the wood beyond, where they saw a sight that filled them with surprise.

a large-leaved tree of the palm species overhung the banks of the river and formed a support to a wild vine and several bright-flowering parasitical plants that drooped in graceful luxuriance from its branches and swept the stream, which at that place was dark, smooth, and deep. on the top of this tree, in among the branches, sat a monkey—at least so ailie called it; but the term ape or baboon would have been more appropriate, for the creature was a very large one, and, if the expression of its countenance indicated in any degree the feelings of its heart, also a very fierce one—an exceedingly ferocious one indeed. this monkey’s face was as black as coal, and its two deep-seated eyes were, if possible, blacker than coal. its head was bald, but the rest of its body was plentifully covered with hair.

now this monkey was evidently caught—taken by surprise—for instead of trying to escape as the canoe approached, it sat there chattering and exhibiting its teeth to a degree that was quite fiendish, not to say—under the circumstances—unnecessary. as the canoe dropped slowly down the river, it became obvious that this monkey had a baby, for a very small and delicate creature was seen clinging round the big one’s waist with its little hands grasping tightly the long hair on the mother’s sides, its arms being much too short to encircle her body. ailie’s heart leapt with an emotion of tender delight as she observed that the baby monkey’s face was white and sweet-looking; yes, we might even go the length of saying that, for a monkey, it was actually pretty. but it had a subdued, sorrowful look that was really touching to behold. it seemed as though that infantine monkey had, in the course of its brief career, been subjected to every species of affliction, to every imaginable kind of heart-crushing sorrow, and had remained deeply meek and humble under it all. only for one brief instant did a different expression cross its melancholy face. that was when it first caught sight of the canoe. then it exposed its very small teeth and gums after the fashion of its mother; but repentance seemed to follow instantly, for the sad look, mixed with a dash of timidity, resumed its place, and it buried its face in its mother’s bosom.

at that moment there was a loud report. a bullet whistled through the air and struck the old monkey in the breast. we are glad to say, for the credit of our sailors, that a howl of indignation immediately followed, and more than one fist was raised to smite the trader who had fired the shot. but captain dunning called the men to order in a peremptory voice, while every eye was turned towards the tree to observe the effect of the shot. as for ailie, she sat breathless with horror at the cruelty of the act.

the old monkey gave vent to a loud yell, clutched her breast with her hands, sprang wildly into the air, and fell to the ground. her leap was so violent that the young one was shaken off and fell some distance from its poor mother, which groaned once or twice and then died. the baby seemed unhurt. gathering itself nimbly up, it ran away from the men who had now landed, but who stood still, by the captain’s orders, to watch its motions. looking round, it observed its mother’s form lying on the ground, and at once ran towards it and buried its little face in her breast, at which sight ailie began to cry quietly. in a few seconds the little monkey got up and gently pawed the old one; then, on receiving no sign of recognition, it uttered a faint wail, something like “wee-wee-wee-wee-oo!” and again hid its face in the breast of its dead parent.

“ah! the poor cratur,” said briant, in a tone of voice that betrayed his emotion. “o, why did ye kill her?”

“me ketch ’im?” said bumble, looking inquiringly at the captain.

“oh, do!” answered ailie, with a sob.

the negro deemed this permission sufficient, for he instantly sprang forward, and throwing a piece of net over the little monkey, secured it.

now the way in which that baby monkey struggled and kicked and shrieked, when it found itself a prisoner, was perfectly wonderful to see! it seemed as if the strength of fifty little monkeys had been compressed into its diminutive body, and king bumble had to exert all his strength in order to hold the creature while he carried it into the canoe. once safely there and in the middle of the stream, it was let loose. the first thing it did on being set free was to give a shriek of triumph, for monkeys, like men, when at last allowed to do that which they have long struggled in vain to accomplish, usually take credit for the achievement of their own success.

its next impulse was to look round at the faces of the men in search of its mother; but the poor mother was now lying dead covered with a cloth in the bottom of the canoe, so the little monkey turned from one to another with disappointment in its glance and then uttered a low wail of sorrow. glynn proctor affirmed positively that it looked twice at phil briant and even made a motion towards him; but we rather suspect that glynn was jesting. certain it is, however, that it looked long and earnestly at ailie, and there is little doubt that, young though it was, it was able to distinguish something in her tender gaze of affection and pity that proved attractive. it did not, however, accept her invitation to go to her, although given in the most persuasive tones of her silver voice, and when any of the men tried to pat its head, it displayed such a row of sharp little teeth and made such a fierce demonstration of its intention to bite, that they felt constrained to leave it alone. at last ailie held her hand towards it and said—

“won’t it come to me, dear, sweet pet? do come; i’ll be as kind to you almost as your poor mother.” the monkey looked at the child, but said nothing.

“come, monkey, dear puggy, do come,” repeated ailie, in a still more insinuating voice.

the monkey still declined to “come,” but it looked very earnestly at the child, and trembled a good deal, and said, “oo-oo-wee; oo-oo-wee!”

as ailie did not quite understand this, she said, “poor thing!” and again held out her hand.

“try it with a small taste o’ mate,” suggested briant.

“right,” said the captain. “hand me the biscuit-bag, glynn. there, now, ailie, try it with that.”

ailie took the piece of biscuit offered to her by her father, and held it out to the monkey, who advanced with nervous caution, and very slowly, scratching its side the while. putting out its very small hand, it touched the biscuit, then drew back the hand suddenly, and made a variety of sounds, accompanied by several peculiar contortions of visage, all of which seemed to say, “don’t hurt me, now; don’t deceive me, pray.” again it put forth its hand, and took the biscuit, and ate it in a very great hurry indeed; that is to say, it stuffed it into the bags in its cheeks.

ailie gave it a bit more biscuit, which it received graciously, and devoured voraciously; whereupon she put forth her hand, and sought to pat the little creature on the head. the attempt was successful. with many slight grins, as though to say, “take care, now, else i’ll bite,” the small monkey allowed ailie to pat its head and stroke its back. then it permitted her to take hold of its hand, and draw it towards her. in a few minutes it showed evident symptoms of a desire to be patted again, and at length it drew timidly towards the child, and took hold of her hand in both of its delicate pink paws. ailie felt quite tenderly towards the creature, and stroked its head again, whereupon it seemed suddenly to cast aside all fear. it leaped upon her knee, put its slender arms as far round her neck as possible, said “oo-oo-wee!” several times in a very sad tone of voice, and laid its head upon her bosom.

this was too much for poor ailie; she thought of the dead mother of this infant monkey, and wept as she stroked its hairy little head and shoulders. from that time forward the monkey adopted ailie as its mother, and ailie adopted the monkey as her child.

now the behaviour of that monkey during the remainder of that voyage was wonderful. oh, you know, it was altogether preposterous, to say the very least of it. affection, which displayed itself in a desire to conciliate the favour of every one, was ingrained in its bones; while deception, which was evinced in a constant effort to appear to be intent upon one thing, when it was really bent upon another, was incorporated with its marrow!

at first it was at war with every one, excepting, of course, ailie, its adopted mother; but soon it became accustomed to the men, and in the course of a few days would go to any one who called it. phil briant was a particular favourite; so was rokens, with whose black beard it played in evident delight, running its slender fingers through it, disentangling the knots and the matted portions which the owner of the beard had never yet been able to disentangle in a satisfactory way for himself; and otherwise acting the part of a barber and hairdresser to that bold mariner, much to his amusement, and greatly to the delight and admiration of the whole party.

to say that that small monkey had a face, would be to assert what was unquestionably true, but what, also, was very far short of the whole truth. no one ever could make up his mind exactly as to how many faces it had. if you looked at it at any particular time, and then shut your eyes and opened them a moment after, that monkey, as far as expression went, had another and a totally different face. repeat the operation, and it had a third face; continue the process, and it had a fourth face; and so on, until you lost count altogether of its multitudinous faces. now it was grave and pensive; anon it was blazing with amazement; again it bristled with indignation; then it glared with anger, and presently it was all serene—blended love and wrinkles. of all these varied expressions, that of commingled surprise and indignation was the most amusing, because these emotions had the effect of not only opening its eyes and its mouth to the form of three excessively round o’s, but also raised a small tuft of hair just above its forehead into a bristling position, and threw its brow into an innumerable series of wrinkles. this complex expression was of frequent occurrence, for its feelings were tender and sensitive, so that it lived in the firm belief that its new friends (always excepting ailie) constantly wished to insult it; and was afflicted with a chronic state of surprise at the cruelty, and of indignation at the injustice, of men who could wantonly injure the feelings of so young, and especially so small a monkey.

when the men called it, it used to walk up to them with calm, deliberate condescension in its air; when ailie held out her hand, it ran on its two legs, and being eager in its affections, it held out its arms in order to be caught up. as to food, that monkey was not particular. it seemed to be omnivorous. certain it is that it never refused anything, but more than once it was observed quietly to throw away things that it did not relish. once, in an unguarded moment, it accepted and chewed a small piece of tobacco; after which it made a variety of entirely new faces, and became very sick indeed—so sick that its adopted mother began to fear she was about to lose her child; but after vomiting a good deal, and moaning piteously for several days, it gradually recovered, and from that time entertained an unquenchable hatred for tobacco, and for the man who had given it to him, who happened to be jim scroggles.

ailie, being of a romantic temperament, named her monkey albertino, but the sailors called him jacko, and their name ultimately became the well-known one of the little foundling, for ailie was not obstinate; so, seeing that the sailors did not or could not remember albertino, she soon gave in, and styled her pet jacko to the end of the chapter, with which piece of information we shall conclude this chapter.