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Post Haste

Chapter Two. Tells of Woman’s Work and some of Woman’s Ways.
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many, and varied, and strange, are the duties which woman has to perform in this life—especially in that wonderful and gigantic phase of this life which is comprehended in the word london.

one chill december afternoon there sat in front of a strange-looking instrument a woman—at least she was as nearly a woman as is compatible with the age of seventeen. she was also pretty—not beautiful, observe, but pretty—sparklingly pretty; dark, dimpled, demure and delightful in every way; with a turn-up nose, a laughing eye, and a kindly look.

her chief duty, from morning to night, consisted in playing with her pretty little fingers on three white pianoforte keys. there were no other keys—black or white—in connection with these three. they stood alone and had no music whatever in them—nothing but a click. nevertheless this young woman, whose name was may maylands, played on them with a constancy and a deft rapidity worthy of a great, if not a musical, cause. from dawn to dusk, and day by day, did she keep those three keys clicking and clittering, as if her life depended on the result; and so in truth it did, to some extent, for her bread and butter depended on her performances on that very meagre piano.

although an artless and innocent young girl, fresh from the western shores of erin, may had a peculiar, and, in one of her age and sex, almost pert way of putting questions, to which she often received quaint and curious replies.

for instance one afternoon she addressed to a learned doctor the following query:—

“can you send copy last prescription? lost it. face red as a carrot. in agonies! what shall i do? help!”

to which the learned doctor gave the matter-of-fact but inelegant reply:—

“stick your feet in hot water. go to bed at once. prescription sent by post. take it every hour.”

but may maylands did not stick her feet in hot water; neither did she go to bed, or take any physic. indeed there was no occasion to do so, for a clear complexion and pink cheeks told of robust health.

on another occasion she asked an irish farmer if he could send her twenty casks of finest butter to cost not more than 6 pence per pound.

to which the farmer was rude enough to answer— “not by no manner of means.”

in short may’s conduct was such that we must hasten to free her from premature condemnation by explaining that she was a female telegraphist in what we may call the literary lungs of london—the general post-office at st. martin’s-le-grand.

on that chill december afternoon, during a brief lull in her portion of the telegraphic communication of the kingdom, may leaned her little head on her hand, and sent her mind to the little cottage by the sea, already described as lying on the west coast of ireland, with greater speed than ever she flashed those electric sparks which it was her business to scatter broadcast over the land. the hamlet, near which the cottage stood, nestled under the shelter of a cliff as if in expectation and dread of being riven from its foundations by the howling winds, or whelmed in the surging waves. the cottage itself was on the outskirts of the hamlet, farther to the south. the mind of may entered through its closed door,—for mind, like electricity, laughs at bolts and bars.

there was a buzz of subdued sound from more than twelve hundred telegraphists, male and female, in that mighty telegraph-hall of saint martin’s-le-grand, but may heard it not. dozens upon dozens of tables, each with its busy occupants—tables to right of her, tables to left of her, tables in rear of her, tables in front of her,—swept away from her in bewildering perspective, but may saw them not. the clicking of six or seven hundred instruments broke upon her ear as they flashed the news of the world over the length and breadth of the land, pulsating joy and sorrow, surprise, fear, hope, despair, and gladness to thousands of anxious hearts, but may regarded it not. she heard only the booming of the great sea, and saw her mother seated by the fire darning socks, with madge engaged in household work, and phil tumbling with baby-brother on the floor, making new holes and rents for fresh darns and patches.

mrs maylands was a student and lover of the bible. her children, though a good deal wilder, were sweet-tempered like herself. it is needless to add that in spite of adverse circumstances they were all moderately happy. the fair telegraphist smiled, almost laughed, as her mind hovered over the home circle.

from the contemplation of this pleasant and romantic picture she was roused by a familiar rustle at her elbow. recalling her mind from the west of ireland, she fixed it on a mass of telegrams which had just arrived from various parts of the city.

they had been sucked through several pneumatic tubes—varying from a few yards to two miles in length—had been checked, assorted, registered, and distributed by boys to the various telegraphists to whose lot they fell. may maylands chanced, by a strange coincidence, to command the instrument in direct connection with cork. the telegrams just laid beside her were those destined for that city, and the regions to which it was a centre of redistribution. among others her own village was in connection with it, and many a time had she yearned to touch her keys with a message of love to her mother, but the rules of the office sternly forbade this. the communicative touch which she dispensed so freely to others was forbidden to herself. if she, or any other telegraphist in st. martin’s-le-grand, wished to send a private message, it became necessary to step out of the office, go to the appointed place, pay her shilling, and become one of the public for the occasion. every one can see the necessity for such a rule in the circumstances.

may’s three-keyed machine, by the way, did not actually send forth the electricity. it only punched holes in a long tape of white paper, which holes, according to their relative arrangement, represented the alphabet. having punched a message by playing on the keys, she transferred her tape to the electric machine at her elbow and passed it through. this transmitting machine was automatic or self acting. it required only to be fed with perforated tapes. in ireland the receiving-machine presented its messages in the form of dots and dashes, which, according to arrangement, became alphabetic. you don’t understand this, reader, eh? it would be surprising if you did! a treatise on electric telegraphy would be required to make it clear—supposing you to have a mechanical turn of mind. suffice it to say that the wheatstone telegraph instrument tapes off its messages at the rate of 100 words a minute.

but to return—

with a sigh may maylands cast her eyes on the uppermost telegram. it ran thus:—

“buy the horse at any price. he’s a spanker. let the pigs go for what they’ll fetch.”

this was enough. romance, domesticity, and home disappeared, probably with the message along the wire, and the spirit of business descended on the little woman as she applied herself once more to the matter-of-fact manipulation of the keys.

that evening as may left the post-office and turned sharply into the dark street she came into collision with a letter-carrier.

“oh! miss,” he exclaimed with polite anxiety, “i beg your pardon. the sleet drivin’ in my face prevented my seeing you. you’re not hurt i hope.”

“no, mr flint, you haven’t hurt me,” said may, laughing, as she recognised the voice of her own landlord.

“why, it’s you, miss may! now isn’t that good luck, my turnin’ up just in the nick o’ time to see you home? here, catch hold of my arm. the wind’s fit to tear the lamp-posts up by the roots.”

“but this is not the way home,” objected the girl.

“that’s true, miss may, it ain’t, but i’m only goin’ round a bit by st. paul’s churchyard. there’s a shop there where they sell the sausages my old ’ooman’s so fond of. it don’t add more than a few yards to the road home.”

the old ’ooman to whom solomon flint referred was his grandmother. flint himself had spent the greater part of his life in the service of the post-office, and was now a widower, well stricken in years. his grandmother was one of those almost indestructible specimens of humanity who live on until the visage becomes deeply corrugated, contemporaries have become extinct, and age has become a matter of uncertainty. flint had always been a good grandson, but when his wife died the love he had borne to her seemed to have been transferred with additional vehemence to the “old ’ooman.”

“there’s a present for you, old ’ooman,” said flint, placing the paper of sausages on the table on entering his humble abode, and proceeding to divest himself of his waterproof cape; “just let me catch hold of a fryin’-pan and i’ll give you to understand what a blow-out means.”

“you’re a good laddie, sol,” said the old woman, rousing herself and speaking in a voice that sounded as if it had begun its career far back in the previous century.

mrs flint was scotch, and, although she had lived from early womanhood in london, had retained something of the tone and much of the pronunciation of the land o’ cakes.

“ye’ll be wat, lassie,” she said to may, who was putting off her bonnet and shawl in a corner. “no, grannie,” returned the girl, using a term which the old woman had begged her to adopt, “i’m not wet, only a little damp.”

“change your feet, lassie, direc’ly, or you’ll tak’ cauld,” said mrs flint in a peremptory tone.

may laughed gently and retired to her private boudoir to change her shoes. the boudoir was not more than eight feet by ten in size, and very poorly furnished, but its neat, methodical arrangements betokened in its owner a refined and orderly mind. there were a few books in a stand on the table, and a flower-pot on the window-sill. among the pegs and garments on the walls was a square piece of cardboard, on which was emblazoned in scarlet silk, the text, “god is love.” this hung at the foot of the bed, so as to be the first object to greet the girl’s eyes on awaking each morning. below it hung a row of photographs, embracing the late reverend james maylands, his widow, his son philip, his distant relative madge, and the baby. these were so arranged as to catch the faint gleam of light that penetrated the window; but as there was a twenty-foot brick wall in front of the window at a distance of two yards, the gleam, even on a summer noon, was not intense. in winter it was barely sufficient to render darkness visible.

poor may maylands! it was a tremendous change to her from the free air and green fields of ireland to a small back street in the heart of london; but necessity had required the change. her mother’s income could not comfortably support the family. her own salary, besides supporting herself, was devoted to the enlargement of that income, and as it amounted to only 50 pounds a year, there was not much left to pay for lodgings, etcetera. it is true miss lillycrop would have gladly furnished may with board and lodging free, but her house was in the neighbourhood of pimlico, and may’s duties made it necessary that she should live within a short distance of the general post-office. miss lillycrop had heard of the flints as being good-hearted and trusty people, and advised her cousin to board with them, at least until some better arrangement could be made for her. meanwhile may was to go and spend part of every sunday with miss lillycrop at number 9 purr street.

“well, grannie,” said may, returning to the front room, where the sausages were already hissing deliciously, “what news have you for me to-night?”

she sat down beside the old woman, took her hand and spoke in that cheery, cosy, confidential way which renders some women so attractive.

“deed, may, there’s little but the auld story—mercies, mornin’, noon, and night. but, oo ay, i was maist forgettin’; miss lillycrap was here, an left ye a message o’ some sort.”

“and what was the message, grannie?”

“she’s gone and forgot it,” said solomon flint, putting the sausages on the table, which had already been spread for supper by a stout little girl who was the sole domestic of the house and attendant on mrs flint. “you’ve no chance of getting it now, miss may, for i’ve noticed that when the old ’ooman once forgets a thing it don’t come back to her—except, p’r’aps, a week or two afterwards. come now, draw in and go to work. but, p’r’aps, dollops may have heard the message. hallo! dollops! come here, and bring the kettle with you.”

dollops—the little girl above referred to—was particularly small and shy, ineffably stupid, and remarkably fat. it was the last quality which induced solomon to call her dollops. her hair and garments stuck out from her in wild dishevelment, but she was not dirty. nothing belonging to mrs flint was allowed to become dirty.

“did you see miss lillycrop, dollops?” asked solomon, as the child emerged from some sort of back kitchen.

“yes, sir, i did; i saw’d ’er a-goin’ hout.”

“did you hear her leave a message?”

“yes, sir, i did. i ’eard ’er say to missis, ‘be sure that you give may maylands my love, an tell ’er wotever she do to keep ’er feet dry, an’ don’t forgit the message, an’ say i’m so glad about it, though it’s not much to speak of arter all!’”

“what was she so glad about?” demanded solomon.

“i dun know, sir. she said no more in my ’earin’ than that. i only comed in w’en she was a-goin’ hout. p’r’aps it was about the findin’ of ’er gloves in ’er pocket w’en she was a talkin’ to missis, which she thought she’d lost, though they wasn’t wuth pickin’ up out of the—”

“pooh! be off to your pots an’ pans, child,” said flint, turning to his grandmother, who sat staring at the sausages with a blank expression. “you can’t remember it, i s’pose, eh?”

mrs flint shook her head and began to eat.

“that’s right, old ’ooman,” said her grandson, patting her shoulder; “heap up the coals, mayhap it’ll revive the memory.”

but mrs flint’s memory was not so easily revived. she became more abstracted than usual in her efforts to recover it. supper passed and was cleared away. the old woman was placed in her easy chair in front of the fire with the cat—her chief evening amusement—on her knee; the letter-carrier went out for his evening walk; dollops proceeded miscellaneously to clean up and smash the crockery, and may sat down to indite an epistle to the inmates of rocky cottage.

suddenly mrs flint uttered an exclamation.

“may!” she cried, and hit the cat an involuntary slap on the face which sent it with a caterwaul of indignant surprise from her knee, “it wasn’t a message, it was a letter!”

having thus unburdened her mind the old woman relapsed into the previous century, from which she could not be recalled. may, therefore, made a diligent search for the letter, and found it at last under a cracked teapot on the mantelpiece, where mrs flint had told miss lillycrop to place it for safety.

it was short but satisfactory, and ran thus:—

“dearest may,—i’ve been to see my friend ‘in power,’ and he says it’s ‘all right,’ that you’ve only to get your brother over as soon as possible, and he’ll see to getting him a situation. the enclosed paper is for his and your guidance. excuse haste.—your affectionate coz, sarah lillycrop.”

it need hardly be said that may maylands finished her letter with increased satisfaction, and posted it that night.

next morning she wrote out a telegram as follows:— “let phil come here at once. the application has been successful. never mind clothes. everything arranged. best love to all.”

the last clause was added in order to get the full value for her money. she naturally underscored the words “at once,” forgetting for the moment that, in telegraphy, a word underlined counts as two words. she was therefore compelled to forego the emphasis.

this message she did not transmit through her own professional instrument, but gave it in at the nearest district office. it was at once shot bodily, with a bundle of other telegrams, through a pneumatic tube, and thus reached st. martin’s-le-grand in one minute thirty-five seconds, or about twenty minutes before herself. chancing to be the uppermost message, it was flashed off without delay, crossed the irish channel, and entered the office at cork in about six minutes. here there was a short delay of half-an-hour, owing to other telegrams which had prior claim to attention. then it was flashed to the west coast, which it reached long before the letter posted on the previous night, and not long after may had seated herself at her own three-keyed instrument. but there, telegraphic speed was thwarted by unavoidable circumstances, the post-runner having already started on his morning rounds, and it was afternoon before the telegram was delivered at rocky cottage.

this was the telegram which had caused philip maylands so much anxiety. he read it at last with great relief, and at the same time with some degree of sadness, when he thought of leaving his mother “unprotected” in her lonely cottage by the sea.

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