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Freaks on the Fells

Story 1—Chapter 4.
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first comers served first, etcetera.

when mr sudberry reached the breakfast parlour, and put his head in at the door to see whether his faithful wife were there, he was struck absolutely dumb by the amazing tableau vivant that met his vision.

there was nothing in the aspect of the room itself to surprise him. it was homely and neat. the table was spread with a clean white cloth, on which the breakfast equipage was displayed with a degree of care and precision that betrayed the master-hand of hobbs; but on the edge of the table sat a large black cat, calmly breakfasting off a pat of delicious fresh butter. beside the table, with its fore-legs thereon and its hind-legs on the floor, stood a large nanny-goat, which was either looking in vain for something suited to its own particular taste, or admiring with disinterested complacency the energy with which two hens and a bantam cock pecked out the crumb of a wheaten loaf. if the latter were the goat’s occupation, it must have been charmed beyond expression; for the half of the loaf had been devoured by the audacious trio, and, just at the moment of mr sudberry’s appearance, the bantam’s body was buried over the shoulders, and nothing of it was visible to the horrified master of the house save its tail, appearing over the edge of the loaf.

“she–ee–ew!” roared mr sudberry, rushing into the room and whirling his arms like the sails of a windmill. the cat vanished through the window like a black vision galvanised and made awfully real. the poultry, thrown into convulsions of terror, flew screaming round the room in blind haste, searching for a door or window of escape; while the goat, true to its nature, ran at the enemy on its hind-legs, and, with its head down, attempted to punch him on the stomach. by an active leap to one side, the enemy escaped this charge; but the goat, nothing daunted, turned to renew the attack; next moment george, fred, and hobbs, rushing into the room, diverted its attention. intimidated by overwhelming numbers, the animal darted through the doorway, along the passage and out at the front door, where it met peter unexpectedly, and wreaked its disappointed vengeance on him by planting on his chest the punch which had been intended for his master. by this means that timid and hapless youth was laid flat on the green grass.

“is jacky safe?” cried mrs sudberry, running into the room with terror on her countenance, and falling down on the sofa in a semi-swoon on being informed that he was. she was followed by lucy and tilly, with scent-bottles, and by nurse, who exhibited a tendency to go off into hysterics; but who, in consequence of a look from her master, postponed that luxury to a more convenient season.

thus the “expatriated” family assembled to morning prayers, and to partake of their first highland breakfast.

of course that day, being their first, was spent in an excited and rambling endeavour to master the localities and ascertain the most interesting points about their new home.

mrs sudberry and her daughters examined the interior accommodation of the white house minutely, and, with the assistance of mrs brown, hobbs, and the page, disposed their goods and chattels to the best advantage; while her husband and sons went out to introduce themselves to the farmer and his family. they lived in a small cottage, or off-shoot, at the back of the principal dwelling, in close proximity to which were the byre, stable, and barns.

it would occupy too much space to relate in detail all the things and sights that called forth the delight and surprise of the excitable mr sudberry. how he found to his amazement that the byre was under the same roof with the farmer’s kitchen, and only separated therefrom by a wooden partition with a door in it. how he was assailed by the nine collie dogs the moment he entered the kitchen, with threats of being torn to pieces, yet was suffered to pass unscathed. how he and his sons were introduced by mr mcallister to his mother, a grave, mild old woman, who puzzled them beyond measure; because, although clad in homely and unfashionable garments, and dwelling in a hut little better than the habitation of the cattle, except in point of cleanliness, she conversed and conducted herself towards them with a degree of unaffected ease and urbanity that might have graced any lady in the land. how this old lady astonished them with the amount of general knowledge that leaked out in the course of a few minutes’ talk. how she introduced the dogs by name, one by one, to jacky, which delighted him immensely; and how, soon after that, jacky attempted to explore out-of-the-way corners of the farm-yard, and stepped suddenly up to the knees in a mud-hole, out of which he emerged with a pair of tight-fitting wellington boots, which filled him with ecstasy and his father with disgust.

all this and a great deal more might be dilated on largely; but we are compelled to dismiss it summarily, without further remark.

in the course of that day mr sudberry and his boys learned a great deal about their new home from mcallister, whom they found intelligent, shrewd, and well-informed on any topic they chose to broach; even although he was, as mr sudberry said in surprise, “quite a common man, who wore corduroy and wrought in his fields like a mere labourer.” after dinner they all walked out together, and had a row on the lake under his guidance; and in the evening they unexpectedly met mr hector macdonald, who was proprietor of the estate on which the white house stood, and who dwelt in another white house of much larger size at the head of the loch, distant about two miles. mrs sudberry had expected to find this highland gentleman a very poor and proud sort of man, with a rough aspect, a superabundance of red hair, and, possibly, a kilt. judge, then, her surprise when she found him to be a young gentleman of refined mind, prepossessing manners, elegant though sturdy appearance, and clad in grey tweed shooting-coat, vest, and trousers, the cut of which could not have been excelled by her own george’s tailor, and george was particular in respect to cut.

mr macdonald, who carried a fishing-rod, introduced himself; and accompanied his new friends part of the way home; and then, saying that he was about to take a cast in the river before sunset, offered to show the gentlemen the best pools. “the gentlemen” leaped at the offer more eagerly than ever trout leaped at an artificial fly; for they were profoundly ignorant of the gentle art, except as it is practised on the thames, seated on a chair in a punt, and with bait and float.

hector macdonald not only showed his friends where to fish, but how to fish; and the whole thing appeared so easy as practised and explained by him, that father and sons turned their steps homeward about dusk, convinced that they could “do it” easily, and anticipating triumph on the morrow.

on the way home, after parting from hector, they passed a solitary hut of the rudest description, which might have escaped observation had not a bright stream of light issued from the low doorway and crossed their path.

“i would like to peep into this cottage, father,” said fred, who cherished strong sympathies with poor people.

“come then,” cried mr sudberry, “let us explore.”

jacky, who was with them, felt timid, and objected; but being told that he might hang about outside, he gave in.

they had to bend low on entering the hovel, which was mean and uncomfortable in appearance. the walls were built of unhewn stones, gathered from the bed of the river hard by; and the interstices were filled up with mud and straw. nothing graced these walls in the shape of ornament; but a few mugs and tin pots and several culinary implements hung from rusty nails and wooden pegs. the floor was of hard mud. there was no ceiling, and the rafters were stained black by the smoke of the peat fire which burned in the middle of the floor, and the only chimney for which was a small hole in the roof. a stool, a broken chair, and a crooked table, constituted the entire furniture of the miserable place; unless we may include a heap of straw and rags in a corner, which served for a bed.

seated on the stool, and bending over the fire,—was an old woman, so wild and shrivelled in her appearance that a much less superstitious urchin than jacky might have believed her to be a witch. her clothing may be described as a bundle of rags, with the exception of a shepherd’s-plaid on her shoulders, the spotless purity of which contrasted strangely with the dirtiness of every thing else around. the old creature was moaning and moping over the fire, and drawing the plaid close round her as if she were cold, although the weather was extremely warm. at first she took no notice whatever of the entrance of her visitors, but kept muttering to herself in the gaelic tongue.

“a fine evening, my good woman,” said fred, laying his hand gently on her shoulder.

“how do ye know i’m good?” she cried, turning her gleaming eyes sharply on her questioner.

“don’t be angry, granny,” put in mr sudberry, in a conciliatory tone.

the effect of this remark on the old woman was the reverse of what had been expected.

“granny! granny!” she shrieked fiercely, holding up her skinny right arm and shaking her fist at mr sudberry, “who dares to ca’ me granny?”

“my dear woman, i meant no offence,” said the latter, much distressed at having unwittingly roused the anger of this strange creature, who continued to glare furiously at the trio.

jacky kept well in the background, and contented himself with peeping round the door-post.

“no offence! no offence! an’ you dare to ca’ me granny! go! go! go!”

as she uttered these three words with increasing vehemence, the last syllable was delivered in a piercing scream. rising suddenly from her stool, she pointed to the door with an air of command that would have well become the queen of the witches.

not wishing to agitate the poor woman, whom he now regarded as a lunatic, mr sudberry turned to go, but a wonderful change in the expression of her face arrested him. her eye had fallen on the round visage of jacky, and a beaming smile now lighted up and beautified the countenance which had so recently been distorted with passion. uttering some unintelligible phrase in gaelic, she held out her skinny arms towards the child, as if entreating him to come to her. strange to say, jacky did not run away or scream with fright as she approached him and took him in her arms. whether it was that he was too much petrified with horror to offer any resistance, or that he understood the smile of affection and reciprocated it, we cannot tell; but certain it is that jacky suffered her to place him on her knee, stroke his hair, and press him to her old breast, as unresistingly and silently as if she had been his own mother, instead of a mad old woman.

fred availed himself of this improved state of things to attempt again to open an amicable conversation; but the old woman appeared to have turned stone deaf; for she would neither look at nor reply to him. her whole attention was devoted to jacky, into whose wondering ears she poured a stream of gaelic, without either waiting for, or apparently expecting, a reply.

suddenly, without a word of warning, she pushed jacky away from her, and began to wring her hands and moan as she bent over the fire. mr sudberry seized the opportunity to decamp. he led jacky quietly out of the hut, and made for the white house at as rapid a pace as the darkness of the night would allow. as they walked home, father and sons felt as if they had recently held familiar converse with a ghost or an evil spirit.

but that feeling passed away when they were all seated at tea in the snug parlour, relating and listening to the adventure; and jacky swelled to double his size, figuratively, on finding himself invested with sudden and singular importance as the darling of an “old witch.” soon, however, matters of greater interest claimed the attention of mr sudberry and his sons; for their bosoms were inflamed with a desire to emulate the dexterous hector macdonald.

rods and tackle were overhauled, and every preparation made for a serious expedition on the morrow. that night mr sudberry dreamed of fishing.

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