something banging at the bulkhead close to my ear aroused me from a deep sleep in great alarm. the hole in which i lay was so pitchy dark that, even when i realised where i was, which took some little time, i fumbled fruitlessly about for several minutes before i finally extricated myself. when at last i stood upright on the cuddy-deck, i saw the captain seated at the table writing. he looked up and growled, "now then, look lively! didn't you hear, 'man the windlass'?" alas! i knew no more what he meant than as if he had spoken in hebrew; but i gathered somehow that i ought to be on deck. up i scrambled into a bitter, snow-laden north-east wind and darkness that, but for the strange sheen of the falling flakes, was almost egyptian. shivering as much with queer apprehensions as with cold, i hurried forrard, where i found the mate and chips hard at work getting the hands out of the fo'lk'sle, and up on top of it, to where the two gaunt levers of the windlass made a blacker streak in the prevailing darkness. tumbling up against jem, the darky, he said, as well as his chattering teeth would allow, "specs yo gotter haul back chain longer me, boy; yars a hook fer yer,"—putting into my hand, as he spoke, a long iron hook with a cross-handle. then, when at last the half-dead sailors began to work the levers, and the great clumsy windlass revolved, jem and i hooked on to the massive links of the cable, dragging it away from the barrel and ranging it in long flakes beside the fore-hatch. every few fathoms, when the chain had worked its way right across the barrel, and the turns were beginning to jam one another up against the bitt, jem called out, "fleet, oh!" then a couple of men descended from mount misery and hooked a mighty iron claw, which was secured by a stout chain to the bitt, on to the cable before the windlass. this held the whole weight while the turns of chain were loosed and laboriously lifted back to the other end of the windlass-barrel again. when thick with mud, so that each link was more like a badly made raw brick than aught else, this primitive performance was an uncouth job, and i could imagine many pleasanter occupations.

two o'clock on a winter's morning, struggling with mud-besmeared masses of iron, upon a footing so greasy that standing was a feat, hungry and sleepy withal, there was little romance about this business. at last the mate bawled, "she's short, sir!" and told the men to "'vast heavin'." out of the gloom around the tug-boat emerged, coming close alongside to receive her end of the big rope by which she was to drag us out to sea. no sooner was it fast than a strange voice aft—the channel pilot's—roared out, "heave right up, sir!" "aye, aye, sir!" answered the mate."heave 'way, boys!" the clatter of the pawls recommenced, continuing until the anchor was as high as it would come. the subsequent "catting" and "fishing" of the big "mud-hook" was all a confused dream to me. all i knew was that i had to sit down and pull at a rope which was wound round a capstan by the steady tramp of the crew, of whom one would occasionally growl at me to mind my "surge," and i would feel a jerk at my rope that shook me up dreadfully. it seemed an interminable job; but, like everything else, came to an end at last. the mate now walked aft, ordering jem and my small self to coil ropes up and clear away generally. but he called out almost immediately, "all hands lay aft to muster!" the whole crowd slouched aft, grouping themselves at the break of the poop, where a sort of elevated deck began just before the mizzenmast. each individual's name was now read out and answered to as announced. i found that there were six able seamen, and the nigger-boy, jem, "foremast hands." the captain, mate, chips, cook, and myself formed the "afterguard."

the "crowd" were now divided into watches, the mate having first pick for the port watch, and getting jem over. this ceremony concluded, the word was passed to "pump ship." several grumbling comments were made on the "one-arm sailor" pumps: a mean, clumsy contrivance, only fit for the smallest vessels, requiring twice the exertion for half the result obtainable from any of the late patents. but the amazement and disgust of the fellows can hardly be imagined when, after half an hour's vigorous "clankety, clankety, clankety, bang!"—three strokes and a pause as the fashion is—there was no sign of a "suck." a burly yorkshireman, leaning up against the brake to mop his brow, said, "well, boys, if this —— old scow ain't just sprung a leak, or bin left fur 'bout a month thout pumpin', we're in for a —— fine thing ov it." there was hardly any intelligible response, they all seemed choking with rage and curses. however, they sucked her out, and then the big man asked chips quietly whether that "spell" was usual. chips assured him that she had not been baled out for a long time, and that she would certainly "take up" in a day or two. oil on the troubled waters, but very risky, for he had only just joined himself; nor did he know anything of the old tub's previous record.

meanwhile the cook, or "doctor," as his sea-sobriquet is, had been busy making coffee. unlike any beverage called by that name ashore, even the funny mixture sold at a halfpenny a cup at street corners being quite luxurious in comparison with it, yet it was a godsend—boiling hot, with plenty of sugar in it—to those poor wretches with the quenchless thirst of many day's indulgence in the vilest liquor making their throats like furred old drain-pipes. it calmed the rising storm, besides doing them a vast amount of physical good. i was at once busy supplying the wants of the officers, to whom the refreshment was heartily welcome. all the time, we were ploughing steadily along behind the strenuous tug at a greater rate than ever i saw the old barky go afterwards. (i have omitted to mention that we were bound for demerara with a general cargo, but our subsequent destination was not settled yet.) all hands were allowed a pretty long spell of rest, with the exception of the man at the wheel, and one on the look-out, because, until we were well out, sail would have been more hindrance than help. the wind increased as we got farther down, until, as we passed out of the river, quite a sea was rising, to which the old hooker began to bob and curtsey like a country girl looking for a situation. the relentless tug, however, tore her through the fast-rising waves, making them break over the bows in heavy spray. this was uncomfortable, but the motion was far worse. all the horrors of sea-sickness came suddenly upon me, and, like an ailing animal, i crept into a corner on the main-hatch under the long-boat, wishing for oblivion. sea-sickness is a theme for jesting, no doubt, but those who have suffered from it much, know how little room there is for laughter at such suffering—suffering too for which, at the time, there seems no hope of alleviation except the impossible one of the motion ceasing.

from that morning for several days i remained in this miserable condition, not caring a pin's point whether i lived or died, nor, with the sole exception of the negro, jem, did any one else on board seem to give me one moment's thought. not that i would lightly accuse them of cruelty or callous indifference to suffering; but, being all fully occupied with their work, they had little leisure to attend to a sea-sick urchin that was of small use at his best. however, poor black jem never forgot me, and, although he had nothing likely to tempt my appetite, he always brought his scanty meals to where i lay helpless under the long-boat, trying in various quaint ways to coax me into a returning interest in life. fortunately for me, the wind held in a quarter that enabled the ship to get out of the channel fairly soon, considering her limitations, and, once across the dreaded stretch of the bay of biscay, she speedily ran into fine weather and smoother seas.

when i did eventually find my sea-legs, and resumed my duties in the cabin, i was received with no good grace by my uncle or the doctor. the latter had, indeed, special cause to feel himself aggrieved, since he had borne the burden of double duty during my illness: a hardship which he was a long time in forgetting. but she was an unhappy ship. the skipper held aloof from everybody, hardly holding converse with the mate. he even kept the ship's reckoning alone, not accepting the mate's assistance in taking the sun for the longitude in the morning, but doing it all himself after a fashion of his own, so that the chief officer was as ignorant of the vessel's true position as i was. then the food, both forrard and aft, was, in addition to being strictly on the abominable official scale which is a disgrace to a civilised country, of so unspeakably vile a quality that it was hardly fit to give to well-reared pigs. i have often seen the men break up a couple of biscuits into a pot of coffee for their breakfast, and, after letting it stand a minute or two, skim off the accumulated scum of vermin from the top—maggots, weevils, etc.—to the extent of a couple of table-spoonfuls, before they could shovel the mess into their craving stomachs. enough, however, for the present on the food-question, which, being one of the prime factors in a sailor's life, must continually be cropping up.

the bleak, biting edge of the winter weather was now gone, the steady north-easterly breeze blew mild and kindly, while from an almost cloudless heaven the great sun beamed benignantly—his rays not yet so fierce as to cause any discomfort. my sensations on first discovering that no land was visible, that we seemed the solitary centre of an immense blue circle, whose sharply defined circumference was exactly joined to the vast azure dome overhead, were those of utter loneliness and terror. for i knew nothing of the ways of navigators across this pathless plain, nor realized any of the verities of the subject set forth in the few books i had read. school learning i had none. had there been any one to whom i could have gone for information, without fearing a brutal repulse, i should doubtless have felt less miserable; but, as it was, use alone gradually reconciled me to the solemn silence of the illimitable desert around. at rare intervals vessels appeared, tiny flecks of white upon the mighty waste, which only served to emphasize its immensity as the solitary light of a taper does the darkness of some huge hall.

but the sea itself was full of interest. of course i had little leisure; but what i had was spent mostly in hanging spell-bound over the side, gazing with ever-growing wonder and delight upon this marvellous world of abounding life. this early acquired habit never left me, for, many years afterwards, when second mate of one of our finest passenger clippers, i enjoyed nothing so much as to pass an hour of my watch below, seated far out ahead of the ship by the martingale, gazing down into the same beautiful sea.

there were no books on board or reading matter of any kind, except the necessary works on navigation on the captain's shelf; so it was just as well that i could take some interest in our surroundings, if i was not to die mentally as most of the sailors seemed to have done. as i got better acquainted with them, even daring to pay stolen visits to their darksome home in timorous defiance of the stern orders of my uncle, i found to my amazement, that they could tell me nothing of what i wanted to know. their kindness often went the length of inventing fabulous replies to my eager questions, but they seemed totally ignorant of anything connected with the wonders of the ocean.

the days slipped rapidly away, until we entered the sargasso sea, that strange vortex in the middle of the atlantic. it was on a sunday morning, when, according to custom, no work was a-doing, except for the doctor and me. even our duties were less exacting than usual; so that i was able to snatch many a short spell of gazing overside at the constantly increasing masses of gulf-weed that, in all its delicate beauty of branch and bud, came brushing past our sides. that afternoon the sea, as far as eye could reach, bore no bad resemblance to a ripe hayfield, the weed covering the water in every direction, with hardly a patch of blue amid the prevailing yellow. before the light trade-wind we were hardly able to make any headway through the investing vegetation, which overlaid the waves so heavily that the surface was smooth as a millpond. through the bewildering mazes of that aquatic forest roved an innumerable multitude of fish of every shape, size, and hue, while the branches themselves swarmed with crustacea, so that a draw-bucket full of weed would have furnished quite a large-sized aquarium with a sufficiently varied population. i could have wished the day forty-eight hours long; but i was the only one on board that derived any pleasure from the snail-like progress we made. the captain's vexation showed itself in many ways, but mostly in inciting chips to order various quite uncalled-for jobs of pulling and hauling, which provoked the watch so much that there was a continual rumble of bad language and growling. even the twenty minutes' spell at the pumps, which, from its regularity every two hours, now passed almost unnoticed, was this afternoon the signal for a great deal of outspoken and unfavourable comment upon the characters of ship, owner, and captain. the latter gentleman paced his small domain with uncertain tread, as usual; but the glitter in his eye, and the set of his heavily bearded lips, showed how sorely he was tempted to retaliate. but he prudently forebore, well aware of his helplessness in case of an outbreak, as well as being forced to admit full justification for the bitter remarks that were so freely indulged in.

indeed, it was a serious question how long the present peace would last. the rigging was dropping to pieces; so that a man never knew, when he went aloft, whether he would not come crashing down by the run, from the parting of a rotten footrope or a perished seizing. the sails were but rags, worn almost to the thinness of muslin, every flap threatening to strip them from the yards. there was no material for repairs, no new rope, canvas, or "seizing-stuff;" half a barrel of stockholm tar, and a few pieces of old "junk" for sennit and spunyarn, representing all the boatswain's stores on board. in fact, the absence of all those necessaries, which are to be found on board the most poverty-stricken of ships, for their bare preservation in serviceable condition, was a never-failing theme of discussion in the fo'lk'sle. and one conclusion was invariably arrived at, albeit the avenues of talk by which it was reached were as tortuous and inconsequent as could well be. it was the grim one that the arabella was never intended to return. this thought tinctured all the men's ideas, embittered their lives, and made the most ordinary everyday tasks seem a burden almost too grievous to be borne.

had it not been for the overwhelming evidence that the condition of the afterguard was almost as miserable as their own, the abject humility of the mate, in spite of his really good seamanship, and the hail-fellow-well-met way in which chips confessed his utter ignorance of all sailorizing whatever, i very much doubt whether there would not have been a mutiny before we were a fortnight out. but as the villainous food and incessant pumping were not aggravated by bullying and "working up," matters jolted along without any outbreak. born as i was under an unlucky star, my insignificance nearly overthrew the peace that was so precariously kept. the deadly dulness of the cabin was so stifling, that i felt as if i should die there in the long, dreary evenings between supper and bunk. nothing to read, nobody to speak to, nothing to do, and forbidden with threats to go forrard among the men—that i should transgress sooner or later was a certainty. i took to creeping forrard oftener and more openly, because no detection followed, until a sharp rope's-ending from my uncle brought me up "with a round turn," as the sailor says. by this time i had become rather a favourite forrard, as well as something of a toy, being very small for my age and precocious as might be expected from my antecedents. one man especially—joe, the big yorkshireman—became strongly attached to me, endeavouring to teach me thoroughly the rudiments of sailorizing. this was at considerable sacrifice of his own time, which, as he was an ardent model-maker, was sufficient proof of his liking for me.

now i was almost destitute of clothing, and what little i did possess i was rapidly growing out of. so the next day after my disciplinary castigation, joe walked aft in his watch below demanding audience of the skipper. there was an unpleasant scowl on the old man's face, as he came on deck to see the audacious man, that boded ill for the applicant in any case. but when joe boldly tackled him for a bit of light canvas whereof he might make me a "cunarder" (a sort of habergeon) and a pair of trousers, the skipper's face grew black with rage. the insult, all the grosser for its truth, was too obvious. when he found his tongue, he burst into furious abuse of joe for daring to come aft on such an errand. joe, being no lamb, replied with interest, to the delight of his fellows, who strolled aft as far as the mainmast to hear the fun. this unseemly wrangle, so subversive of all order or discipline, lasted for about ten minutes, during which time i stood shivering at the foot of the cabin ladder in dread of the sequel. finally the old man, unable to endure any more, roared, "get forrard or i'll shoot ye, ye d—d ugly thief of a sea-lawyer! i'll have ye by the heels yet, an' w'en i do ye'll think jemmy smallback's gruppin' ye!" with this parting shot he turned on his heel without waiting the retort discourteous that promptly followed, descending abruptly into the cabin with the ironical cheers of the delighted crew ringing unmelodiously in his ears.

under such provocation it was little wonder that i paid for all. it must have been balm to my relative's wounded pride to rope's-end me; at any rate, he did so with a completeness that left nothing to be desired. and, in order to avenge himself fully, he closed our interview by kicking me forrard, daring me, at the same time, ever to defile his cabin again with my mischief-making presence under pain of neck-twisting.

of course i was received in the fo'lk'sle with open arms. my reception went far to mollify my sore back, for the seclusion of the cabin had grown so hateful, that i would willingly have purchased my freedom from it with several such coltings as i had endured, not to speak of the honour of being welcomed as a sort of martyr. before long i owned quite a respectable rig-out, made up, by the dexterity of joe, from all sorts of odds and ends contributed by all hands at a tarpaulin muster. now each man vied with the other in teaching me all they knew of their business, and i was such an apt pupil that, in a short time, they were able to boast that there was no knot or splice known to seafarers, that i was not capable of making in sailor fashion. being no climbist, as might be expected from an urchin born and bred in london streets, getting used to the rigging was unpleasant at first; but that was mastered in its turn, until nothing remained unlearned but the helm. the one aim, apparently, of every man forrard was to so fit me for the work i might be called upon to do, as that no excuse might be found for cruelty of any sort. whether i had the ability to meet his demands or not, it did not seem prudent for the old man to try his hand on me again in the colting line, and i went gaily enough on my progressive way.