it would be unfair to myself not to indicate that i rendered an adequate return for the stipend paid me. as a matter of fact, owing to the peculiar character of the local news conditions, as well as my own creative if poorly equipped literary instincts at the time, i was able to render just such service as my employers craved, and that with scarcely a wrench to my mental ease. for what they craved, more than news of a dramatic or disturbing character, was some sort of idle feature stuff which they could use in place of news and still interest their readers. the spring time, balzac, the very picturesque city itself, my own idling and yet reflective disposition, caused me finally to attempt a series of mood or word-pictures about the most trivial matters—a summer storm, a spring day, a visit to a hospital, the death of an old switchman’s dog, the arrival of the first mosquito—which gave me my first taste of what it means to be a creative writer.

the city editor asked me one day if i could not invent some kind of feature, and i sat down and thought of one theme and another. finally i thought of the fly as a possible subject for an idle skit. being young and ambitious, and having just crawled out of a breeding-pit somewhere, he alighted on the nearest fence or windowsill, brushed his head and wings reflectively and meditated on the chances of a livelihood or a career. what would be open to a young and ambitious fly in a world all too crowded with flies? there were barns, of course, and kitchens and horses and cows and pigs, but these fields were overrun, and this was a sensitive and cleanly and meditative fly. flying about here and there to inspect the world, he encountered within a modest and respectable home a shiny pate which seemed to offer a rather polished field of effort and so on.

this idle thing which took me not more than three-quarters of an hour to write and which i was almost afraid to submit, produced a remarkable change in the attitude of the office, as well as in my life and career. we had at this time as assistant city editor a small, retiring, sentimental soul, jim israels, who was one of the most gracious and approachable and lovable men i have ever known. he it was to whom i turned over my skit. he took it with an air of kindly consideration and helpfulness.

“trying to help us out, are you?” he said with a smile, and then added when i predicated its worthlessness: “well, it’s not such an easy thing to turn out that stuff. i hope it’s something the chief will like.”

he took it and, as i noticed, for i hung about to see, read it at once, and i saw him begin to smile and finally chuckle.

“this thing’s all right,” he called. “you needn’t worry. gaither’ll be pleased with this, i know,” and he began to edit it.

i went out to walk and think, for i had nothing to do except wander over to allegheny to find out if anything had turned up.

when i returned at six i was greeted by my city editor with a smile and told that if i would i could do that sort of thing as much as i liked. “try and get up something for tomorrow, will you?” i said i would try. the next day, a spring rain descending with wonderful clouds and a magnificent electrical display, i described how the city, dry and smoky and dirty, lay panting in the deadening heat and how out of the west came, like an answer to a prayer, this sudden and soothing storm, battalion upon battalion of huge clouds riven with great silvery flashes of light, darkening the sun as they came; and how suddenly, while shutters clapped and papers flew and office windows and doors had to be closed and signs squeaked and swung and people everywhere ran to cover, the thousands upon thousands who had been enduring the heat heaved a sigh of gratitude. i described how the steel tenements, the homes of the rich, the office buildings, the factories, the hospitals and jails changed under these conditions. and then ventured to give specific incidents and pictures of animals and men.

this was received with congratulations, especially from the assistant editor, who was more partial to anything sentimental than his chief. but i, feeling that i had hit upon a vein of my own, was not inclined to favor the moods of either but to write such things as appealed to me most. this i did from day to day, wandering out into the country or into strange neighborhoods for ideas and so varying my studies as my mood dictated. i noticed, however, that my more serious attempts were not so popular as the lighter and sillier things. this might have been a guide to me, had i been so inclined, leading to an easy and popular success; but by instinct and observation i was inclined to be interested in the larger and more tragic phases of life. mere humor, such as i could achieve when i chose, seemed always to require for its foundation the most trivial of incidents, whereas huge and massive conditions underlay tragedy and all the more forceful aspects of life.

but what pleased and surprised me was the manner in which these lighter as well as the more serious things were received and the change they made in my standing. hitherto i was merely a newcomer being tested and by no means secure in my hold on this position. now, of a sudden, my status was entirely changed. i was a feature man, one who had succeeded where others apparently had failed, and so i was made more than welcome. to my surprise, my city editor one day asked me whether i had had my lunch. i gladly availed myself of a chance to talk to him, and he told me a little something of local journalistic life, who the publisher of this paper was, his politics and views. the assistant editor asked me to dinner. the sunday editor, the chief political reporter, the chief city hall and police man grew friendly; i went to lunch or dinner with one or the other, was taken to the press club after midnight, and occasionally to a theater by the dramatic man. finally i was asked to contribute something to the sunday papers, and later still asked to help the dramatic man with criticisms.

i was a little puzzled and made quite nervous though not vain by this sudden change. the managing editor came to talk familiarly with me, and after him the son of the publisher, fresh from a european trip. but when he told me how interested he was in the kind of thing i was doing and that he wished he “could write like that,” i remember feeling a little envious of him, with his fine clothes and easy manner. an invitation to dine at his home soothed me in no way. i never went. there was some talk of sending me to report a proposed commercial conference (at buffalo, i believe), looking to the construction of a ship canal from erie or buffalo to pittsburgh, but it interested me not at all. i had no interest in those things, really not in newspaper work, and yet i scarcely knew what i wanted to do if not that. one thing is sure: i had no commercial sense whereby i might have profited by all this. after the second or third sketch had been published there was a decided list in my direction, and i might have utilized my success. instead, i merely mooned and dreamed as before, reading at the carnegie library, going out on assignments or writing one of these sketches and then going home again or to the press club. i gathered all sorts of data as to the steel magnates—carnegie, phipps and frick especially—their homes, their clubs, their local condescensions and superiorities. the people of pittsburgh were looked upon as vassals by some of these, and their interviews on returning from the seashore or the mountains partook of the nature of a royal return.

i remember being sent once to the duquesne club to interview andrew carnegie, fresh from his travels abroad, and being received by a secretary who allowed me to stand in the back of a room in which mr. carnegie, short, stocky, bandy-legged, a grand air of authority investing him, was addressing the élite of the city on the subject of america and its political needs. no note-taking was permitted, but i was later handed a typewritten address to the people of pittsburgh and told that the dispatch would be allowed to publish that. and it did. i smiled then, and i smile now, at the attitude of press, pulpit, officials of this amazing city of steel and iron where one and all seemed so genuflective and boot-licking, and yet seemed not to profit to any great degree by the presence of these magnates, who were constantly hinting at removing elsewhere unless they were treated thus and so—as though the life of a great and forceful metropolis depended on them alone.