this, the most momentous move of my life, as i think, was made on a monday in the autumn of about 1890. the year doesn't matter anyhow. i know that it was about sixteen or seventeen years ago, or when i was thirty-three or thirty-four years of age. that monday i had taken leave from the office, the day being deducted from my allowed twenty-eight days of summer vacation, as was customary with us. by favour of the authorities we were even allowed to take half days of leave, which prevented us from doing what we believed our happier brethren in the pukka civil service could always do, ask to step out after lunch and not come back that day. it also i suppose preserved as much of our self-respect as was possible, for we were thus able to say that we at anyrate did not rob our masters the public of any of our valuable time.

this reserve of time, however, was far too valuable commercially to me to be lightly drawn upon, and so, rising at five the next day, i did as much as possible towards getting straight before eight, when i started[pg 110] to walk to the office, a little over four miles, but with the prospect of a long day's rest, as far as my body was concerned, in front of me. that week was one of the busiest in my whole life. my office work had to suffer, doubtless, for amid the dancing columns of figures or snaky automatic curves i could always discern the counters, shelves, showcases, etc., of this new daemon, the shop. moreover, i had to interview wholesale people, dealers in art embroidery, crewels, etc., dealers in fancy goods, dealers in mouldings, etc., and open accounts upon the strength of that little capital, now fast dwindling away.

my education was rapid that week. i heard hundreds of new trade terms, of the existence of articles for sale of which i never before dreamed, of possibilities of profit making that were dazzling, and i remembered them all. but i kept no account of my growing liabilities, loading my memory with everything, and whenever an uneasy feeling persisted in making itself noticed that i was plunging far beyond my resources, i fell back upon the consoling hope that i should soon square everything when the shop was opened. and i had determined to open that shop on the following saturday. i ordered a couple of thousand hand-bills advising the resident gentry of slopers island, as east dulwich was then sarcastically called, that f. t. bullen proposed opening the premises at 135 lordship lane, s.e., on saturday next as a high class emporium for the sale of fancy goods, and[pg 111] all the necessaries for the production of art needlework.

there was also a notice to the effect that carving, gilding, and picture frame making, would be executed on the premises with promptness and dispatch, artists materials would be kept in stock, oil paintings restored, and their frames re-gilded, while expert opinion would be given free to would-be picture buyers, amateur framemakers would be supplied with materials at city prices, and the best window glass would be cut and sold. builders supplied at trade prices. i need hardly say that i had advice in drawing up this precious circular or i should never have dared aspire to such sublime heights of mendacity—even now—though it is not easy—i blush to think on what a slender possibility of performance i based all those grandiloquent promises.

after all they did little harm. for i hired boys to distribute my bills in the best districts, paying them liberally upon their solemn promises to knock at each door, where there was no letter box, so as to make sure of my bills entering the houses. next morning walking over denmark hill—it had rained somewhat heavily during the night—i saw my bills almost carpeting the sidewalk and roadway, and after my first bitterness of soul at the sad waste had passed off, i accepted the situation as a judgment on me from above for my shameless exaggerations. i never consoled myself by thinking of the specious and spacious[pg 112] lies of the company promoter, the sufferers from which all contributed to his wealth, out of which he often gave liberally to religious institutions and felt a perfect glow of satisfaction thereat. but for all my experience i was both ignorant and simple, which may serve as a reason for my penitence, but no excuse.

the opening day arrived—i had been up nearly all the previous night putting the finishing touches to the appearance of the shop and the arrangement of the stock, and flattered myself that it looked pretty well. my wife, who had an innate genius for art needlework, was in charge of that department, and we had arranged that in the event of orders for picture framing coming in with an overwhelming rush, she was to promise, in case the customers would not accept her assurance that i would do the work as cheaply as possible from the patterns they might select, that i would wait upon them at their residences later on.