such an extensive collection of farm-stock as we carried in the belle was, like the method of dealing with it, probably unique. certainly so in my experience, and in that of all the shipmates with whom i have ever discussed the matter. for this reason, a dirty ship upon the high seas is an anomaly, something not to be imagined; that is, in the sense of loose dirt, of course, because sailors will call a ship dirty whose paint and varnish have been scrubbed or weathered off, and, through poverty or meanness, left unrenewed. the belle would no doubt have looked clean to the average landsman, but to a sailor she was offensively filthy, and the language used at night when handling the running gear (i.e. the ropes which regulate the sails, &c., aloft, and are, when disused, coiled on pins or on deck) was very wicked and plentiful. in fact, as old nat remarked casually one sunday afternoon, when the watch had been roused to tack ship, and all the inhabitants of the farmery, disturbed from their roosting places or lairs, were unmusically seeking fresh quarters, “ef thishyer—— old mud-scow’s out much longer we sh’ll hev’ ’nother cargo aboard when we du arrive. people ’ll think we cum fr’m the chinchees with gooanner.”

[129]

but, as i have said, the belle was certainly an exception. i joined a magnificent steel clipper called the harbinger in adelaide as second mate, and, on taking my first walk round her, discovered that she too was well provided in the matter of farm-stock, besides, to my amazement, for i had thought the day for such things long past, carrying a cow. but all the arrangements for the housing, feeding, and general comfort of the live-stock on board were on a most elaborate scale, as, indeed, was the ship’s equipment generally. the cow-house, for instance, was a massive erection of solid teak with brass fittings and fastenings, large enough to take two cows comfortably, and varnished outside till it looked like a huge cabinet. its place when at sea was on the main hatch, where it was nearly two feet off the deck, and by means of ring-bolts was lashed so firmly that only a perfectly disastrous sea breaking on board could possibly move it. its solidly-built doors opened in halves, of which the lower half only was kept fastened by day, so that poley stood at her window gazing meditatively out at the blue expanse of the sea with a mild, abstracted air, which immediately vanished if any one inadvertently came too near her premises. she had a way of suddenly dabbing her big soapy muzzle into the back of one’s neck while the victim’s attention was taken up elsewhere that was disconcerting. and one night, in the middle watch, she created a veritable sensation by walking into the forecastle unseen by anybody on deck. the watch below were all sound asleep, of course, but the unusual footsteps, and long inquisitive breaths, like escaping steam, emitted by the visitor,[130] soon roused them by their unfamiliarity. voice called unto voice across the darkness (and a ship’s forecastle at night is a shade or so darker than a coal-cellar), “what is it? light the lamp, somebody”; but with that vast mysterious monster floundering around, no one dared venture out of the present security of his bunk. it was really most alarming—waking up to such an invisible horror as that, and, as one of the fellows said to me afterwards, “all the creepy yarns i’d ever read in books come inter me head at once, until i was almost dotty with ’fraid.” this situation was relieved by one of the other watch, who, coming in to get something out of a chum’s chest, struck a match, and by its pale glimmer revealed the huge bulk of poor poley, who, scared almost to drying up her milk, was endeavouring to bore her way through the bows in order to get out. the butcher was hurriedly roused from his quarters farther aft, and, muttering maledictions upon ships and all sailors, the sea and all cattle, slouched to the spot. his voice immediately reassured the wanderer, who turned round at its first angry words and deliberately marched out of the forecastle, leaving a lavish contribution in her wake as a memento of her visit.

between the butcher and poley a charming affection existed. she loved him most fondly, and the cardigan jacket he wore was a proof thereof. for while engaged in grooming her, which he did most conscientiously every morning, she would reach round whenever possible and lick him wherever she could touch him. in consequence of this affectionate habit[131] of hers his cardigan was an object of derision to all on board until upon our arrival in cape town one of our departing passengers divided a case of extra special scotch whisky among the crew. the butcher being of an absorbent turn, shifted a goodly quantity of the seductive fluid, and presently, feeling very tired, left the revellers and disappeared. next morning he was nowhere to be found. a prolonged search was made, and at last the missing man was discovered peacefully slumbering by the side of the cow, all unconscious of the fact that she had licked away at him until nothing remained of his cardigan but the sleeves, and in addition a great deal of his shirt was missing. it is only fair to suppose that, given time enough, she would have removed all his clothing. it was a depraved appetite certainly, but as i have before noticed, that is not uncommon among animals at sea. it was her only lapse, however, from virtue in that direction. truly her opportunities were small, being such a close prisoner, but the marvel to me was how, in the absence of what i should say was proper food, she kept up her supply of milk for practically the whole voyage. she never once set foot on shore from the time the vessel left london until she returned, and as green food was most difficult to obtain in adelaide, she got a taste of it only about four times during our stay. australian hay, too, is not what a dainty english cow would be likely to hanker after; yet with all these drawbacks it was not until we had crossed the line on the homeward passage that her milk began to dwindle seriously in amount. thenceforward[132] it decreased, until in the channel the butcher handed in to the steward one morning a contribution of about a gill, saying, “if you want any more, sir, you’ll have to put the suction hose on to her. i sh’d say her milkin’ days was done.” but for long previous to this the ingenious butcher had been raiding the cargo (of wheat) for his pet, and each day would present her with two bucketfuls of boiled wheat, which she seemed to relish amazingly. partly because of this splendid feeding, and partly owing to the regular washing and groomings she received, i imagine she was such a picture of an animal when she stepped out of the ship in london as i have only seen at cattle shows or on advertisement cards. you could not see a bone; her sides were like a wall of meat, and her skin had a sheen on it like satin. as she was led away, i said to the butcher, who had been assisting at her debarkation, “i suppose you’ll have her again next voyage, won’t you, butcher?” “no fear,” he answered sagely. “she’s gone to be butchered. she’ll be prime beef in a day or two.” i looked at him with something like consternation. he seemed to think it was a grand idea, although even now the mournful call of his old favourite was ringing in his ears. at last i said, “i wonder you can bear to part with her; you’ve been such chums all the voyage.” “i don’t know what you mean, sir,” he replied. “i looked after her ’cause it’s my bisness, but i’d jest as leave slaughter her myself as not.” with that he left me to resume his duty.

[133]

but in the fervour of my recollections of poley, i have quite neglected another most important branch of the harbinger’s family of animals, the sheep. being such a large ship, she had an immense house on deck between the main hatch and the fore mast, in which were a donkey-engine and condenser, a second cabin to accommodate thirty passengers, petty officers’ quarters, carpenters’ shop, and galley. and still there was room between the fore end and the fore mast to admit of two massive pens, built of teak, with galvanised bars in front, being secured there one on top of the other. when i joined the ship these were empty, and their interiors scrubbed as clean as a kitchen table. that morning, looking up the quay, i saw a curious procession. first a tall man, with an air of quiet want of interest about him; by his side sedately marched a ram, a splendid fellow, who looked fully conscious that he was called upon to play an important part in the scheme of things. behind this solemn pair came a small flock of some thirty sheep, and a wise old dog, keeping a good distance astern of the mob, fittingly brought up the rear. they were expected, for i saw some of the men, under the bo’sun’s directions, carefully laying a series of gangways for them. and, without noise, haste, or fuss, the man marched on board closely followed by the ram. he led the way to where a long plank was laid from the deck to the wide-open door of the upper pen. then, stepping to the side of it, without a word or even a gesture, he stood quite still while the stately ram walked calmly[134] up that narrow way, followed by the sheep in single file. the leader walked into the pen and right round it, reaching the door just as the fifteenth sheep had entered. the others had been restrained from following as soon as fifteen had passed. outside he stepped upon the plank with the same grave air of importance, and the moment he had done so the door was slid to in the face of the others who were still following his lead. then the other pen was filled in the same easy manner, the ram quitting the second pen with the bearing of one whose sublime height of perfection is far above such paltry considerations as praise or blame, while the dog stood aloof somewhat dejectedly, as if conscious that his shining abilities were for the time completely overshadowed by the performances of a mere woolly thing, one of the creatures he had always regarded as being utterly destitute of a single gleam of reasonableness. the ram received a carrot from his master’s pocket with a gracious air, as of one who confers a favour, and together the trio left the ship. the embarkation had been effected in the quietest, most humane manner possible, and to my mind was an object-lesson in ingenuity.

we had no swine, but on top of this same house there was a fine range of teak-built coops of spacious capacity, and these were presently filled with quite a respectable company of fowls, ducks, and geese, all, of course, under the charge of the butcher. happy are the animals who have no history on board ship, whose lives move steadily on in one well-fed procession unto their ordained end. here[135] in this grand ship, had it not been for the geese, no one would have realised the presence of poultry at all, so little were they in evidence until they graced the glittering table in the saloon at 6 p.m. but the geese, as if bent upon anticipating the fate that was in store for them, waited with sardonic humour until deepest silence fell upon the night-watches. then, as if by preconcerted signal, they raised their unmelodious voices, awaking sleepers fore and aft from deepest slumbers, and evoking the fiercest maledictions upon their raucous throats. occasionally the shadowy form of some member of the crew, exasperated beyond endurance, would be dimly seen clambering up the end of the house, his heart filled with thoughts of vengeance. armed with a wooden belaying-pin, he would poke and rattle among the noisy creatures, with much the same result as one finds who, having a slightly aching tooth, fiddles about with it until its anguish is really maddening. these angry men never succeeded in doing anything but augmenting the row tenfold, and they found their only solace in gloating over the last struggles of one of their enemies when the butcher was doing his part towards verifying the statement on the menu for the forthcoming dinner of “roast goose.”

but the chief interest of our farmyard, after all, lay in the sheep. how it came about that such a wasteful thing was done i do not know, but it very soon became manifest that some at least of our sheep were in an interesting condition, and one morning, at wash-deck time, when i was prowling around forrard to see that everything was as it should be, i[136] was considerably amused to see one of the sheep occupying a corner of the pen with a fine young lamb by her side. while i watched the pretty creature, the butcher came along to begin his day’s work. when he caught sight of the new-comer he looked silly. it appeared that he alone had been sufficiently unobservant of his charges to be unprepared for this dénouement, and it was some time before his sluggish wits worked up to the occasion. suddenly he roused himself and made for the pen. “what are you going to do, butcher?” i asked. “goin’ to do! w’y i’m agoin’ ter chuck that there thing overboard, a’course, afore any of them haristocrats aft gets wind of it. they won’t touch a bit o’ the mutton if they hear tell o’ this. i never see such a thing aboard ship afore.” but he got no further with his fell intent, for some of the sailors intervened on behalf of the lamb, vowing all sorts of vengeance upon the butcher if he dared to touch a lock of its wool; so he was obliged to beat a retreat, grumblingly, to await the chief steward’s appearance and lay the case before him. when that gentleman appeared, he was by no means unwilling to add a little to his popularity by effecting a compromise. it was agreed that the sailors should keep the new-comer as a pet, but all subsequent arrivals were to be dealt with by the butcher instanter, without any interference on their part. this, the steward explained, was not only fair, but merciful, as in the absence of green food there could only be a day or two’s milk forthcoming, and the poor little things would be starved. of course, he couldn’t[137] spare any of poley’s precious yield for nursing lambs, besides wishing to avoid the natural repugnance the passengers would have to eating mutton in such a condition. so the matter was amicably arranged.

thereafter, whenever a lamb was dropped, and every one of those thirty ewes presented one or two, the butcher laid violent hands upon it, and dropped it overboard as soon as it was discovered. owing to the promise of sundry tots of grog from the sailors, he always informed them of the fact, and pointed out the bereaved mother. then she would be pounced upon, lifted out of the coop, and while one fellow held her another brought the favoured lamb. after the first time or two, that pampered young rascal needed no showing. as soon as he saw the sheep being held he would make a rush, and in a minute or two would completely drain her udder. sometimes there were as many as three at a time for him to operate upon, but there never seemed to be too many for his voracious appetite. what wonder that like jeshurun he waxed fat and kicked. he grew apace, and he profited amazingly by the tuition of his many masters. anything less sheep-like, much less lamb-like, than his behaviour could hardly be imagined. a regimental goat might have matched him in iniquity, but i am strongly inclined to doubt it. one of the most successful tricks taught this pampered animal was on the lines of his natural tendency to butt at anything and everything. it was a joyful experience to see him engaged in mimic conflict with a burly sailor, who, pitted against this immature ram, usually came to grief at an unexpected[138] roll of the ship; for billy, as our lamb was named by general consent, very early in his career gat unto himself sea-legs of a stability unattainable by any two-legged creature. i often laughed myself sore at these encounters, the funniest exhibitions i had seen for many a long day, until one night in my watch on deck, during a gale of wind, i descended from the poop on to the main deck to hunt for a flying-fish that i heard come on board. i was stooping down, the water on deck over my ankles, to feel under the spare spars lashed alongside the scuppers, when i heard a slight noise behind me. before i had time to straighten myself, a concussion like a well-aimed, hearty kick smote me behind, and i fell flat in the water like a plaice. when i had scrambled to my feet, black rage in my heart against things in general, i heard a fiendish cackle of laughter which was suddenly suppressed; and there, with head lowered in readiness for another charge, stood billy, only too anxious to renew his attentions as soon as he could see an opening. for one brief moment i contemplated a wild revenge, but i suddenly remembered that my place was on the poop, and i went that way, not perhaps with the dignified step of an officer, because that demoniacal sheep (no, lamb) was behind me manœuvring for another assault. i lost all interest in him after that. a lamb is all very well, but when he grows up he is apt to become an unmitigated calamity, especially if sailors have any hand in his education. so that it was with a chastened regret that i heard the order go forth for his conversion into dinner. we were[139] able to regale the pilot with roast lamb and mint sauce (made from the dried article), and the memory of my wrongs added quite a piquant flavour to my portion.