at first sight, any two things more difficult to bring into intimate relations than bucolic and nautical life would appear impossible to find. those unfortunate people who, having followed the calm, well-ordered round of pastoral progress through the steadily-succeeding seasons of many years, suddenly find themselves, by some freakish twist of fortune’s wheel, transferred to the unstable bosom of the mutable deep, become terribly conscious of their helplessness in the face of conditions so utterly at variance with all their previous experience of settled, orderly life. the old order has changed with a vengeance, giving place to a bewildering seasonal disarrangement which seems to their shaken senses like a foretaste of some topsy-turvy world. like sorrowful strangers in a strange land are they, wherein there is no sure foothold, and where, in place of the old familiar landmarks known and cherished so long, is a new element constant to nothing but change and—upon which they seem to be precariously poised—the centre of a marginless circle of invariable variability. this subversion of all precedent is of course no less disconcerting to the humbler denizens of the farmyard and meadow than it is to those who are ordinarily the august arbiters of their destinies. and a sudden change from the placid environment of the homestead, with all its large liberty and peaceful delights, to the cramped, comfortless quarters which, as a rule, are all that shipboard arrangements allow them, at once brings them to a state of disconsolate wretchedness wherein all their self-assertive individuality is reduced to a meek, voiceless protest against their hard and unmerited fate. sea-sickness, too, that truly democratic leveller, does not spare animals, but inserts another set of totally new and unpleasant sensations into the already complicated disorganisation of their unfortunate position.

in spite of these admittedly difficult factors, i have the temerity to attempt the setting forth of certain phases of nautical life experienced by myself which have always appeared to me to bring into close contact two such widely differing spheres of existence as country life and sea life, principally in the management of farmyard animals at sea. sailors are proverbially handy at most things, if their methods are unconventional, and i venture to hope that country readers will at least be amused by jack’s antics when dealing with the familiar creatures of the countryside.

with that wonderful adaptability to circumstances which, while pre-eminently characteristic of mankind, is also a notable quality of domesticated animals, they soon recover from their stupor and malaise, arrange their locomotive powers to suit the mutations of their unsteady home, and learn (perhaps soonest of all) to[112] distinguish the very number of strokes upon the ship’s bell which announces the arrival of feeding-time. no doubt the attentions of the sailors have much to do with the rapidity of acclimatisation (if the term may be so employed) manifested by most of the animals, since sailors have justly earned a high reputation for taming and educating creatures of even the most ferocious and intractable dispositions. nevertheless, this result is attained by some of the queerest and most ludicrous means (to a countryman) imaginable. but what does that matter, since the conditions of their existence then become, for the seaworthy animals, not only pleasant but undoubtedly profitable to their owners. and where they are presently allowed the run of the ship much fun ensues, fun, moreover, that has no parallel in country life as ordinarily understood. perhaps my experiences have been more favourably enlarged than falls to the lot of most seafarers, for i have been in several ships where the live-stock were allowed free warren; and although the system had many inconveniences and entailed a great deal of extra labour upon the crew, there were also many compensations. but, like all things pertaining to the sea, the practice of carrying live-stock has been replaced by more modern methods. the custom of carrying fresh meat in refrigerators is rapidly gaining ground, and, in consequence, latter-day seamen find fewer and fewer opportunities for educating in seafaring behaviour the usual farmyard animals that supply us with food. by few seamen will this be regarded as a misfortune, since they find their labour quite sufficiently onerous without the inevitable and disagreeable concomitants of carrying live-stock.

by far the largest portion of my experience of farmyard operations on board ship has been connected with pigs. these profitable animals have always been noted for their adaptability to sea life, and i fully believe, what i have often heard asserted, that no pork is so delicious as that which has been reared on board ship. be that as it may, pigs of every nation under heaven where swine are to be found have been shipmates with me, and a complete study of all their varied characteristics and their behaviour under all sea circumstances would occupy a far greater number of pages than i am ever likely to be able or willing to give. already i have endeavoured to set forth, in a former article, a sketch of the brilliant, if erratic, career of one piggy shipmate whose life was full of interest and his death a blaze of lurid glory. but he was in nowise the most important member of our large and assorted collection of grunters in that ship. our scotch skipper was an enthusiastic farmer during the brief periods he spent at cellardyke between his voyages to the east indies, and consequently it was not strange that he should devote a portion of his ample leisure to pig-breeding when at sea. for some reason, probably economical, we carried no fowls or other animals destined for our meat, with the exception of the pigs, two large retriever dogs and two cats making up the total of our animal passengers, unless a large and active colony of rats that inhabited the recesses of the hold be taken into account. the day before sailing from[114] liverpool a handsome young pair of porkers, boar and sow, were borne on board in one sack by the seller, making the welkin ring with their shrill protests. we already possessed a middle-aged black sow of madras origin, whose temper was perfectly savage and unappeasable; in fact, she was the only animal i ever saw on board ship that could not be tamed. the first few days of our passage being stormy, the two young pigs suffered greatly from sea-sickness, and in their helpless, enfeebled state endured many things from the wrathful, long-snouted old madrassee, who seemed to regard them both with peculiar aversion. she ate all their grub as well as her own, although, like the lean kine of scripture, she was nothing benefited thereby. but the sailors, finding the youngsters amicably disposed, began to pet them, and in all possible ways to protect them from ill-usage not only by the savage indian but by the black retriever sailor, who had taken up his quarters in the fo’c’s’le and became furiously jealous of any attention shown to the pigs by his many masters. it should be noted that, contrary to the usual practice, those pigs had no settled abiding-place. at night they slept in some darksome corner beneath the top-gallant forecastle, wherever they could find a dry spot, but by day they roamed the deck whithersoever they listed, often getting as far aft as the sacred precincts of the quarter-deck, until neptune, the brown retriever that guarded the after-end of the ship, espied them, and, leaping upon them, towed them forrard at full gallop by the ears, amid a hurly-burly of eldritch shrieks and rattling hoofs. i am not at all sure that the frolicsome young things did not enjoy these squally interludes in their otherwise peaceful lives. certainly they often seemed to court rather than to avoid the dog’s onslaught, and would dodge him round the after-hatch for all the world like london arabs guying a policeman. the only bitter drop in their brimming cup of delights came with distressing regularity each morning. as soon as the wash-deck tub was hauled forrard and the fore part of the ship was invaded by the barefooted scrubbers and water-slingers, two hands would grope beneath the fo’c’s’le, where, squeezed into the smallest imaginable space, denis and jenny were, or pretended to be, sleeping the dreamless slumbers of youthful innocence. ruthlessly they were seized and hauled on deck, their frantic lamentations lacerating the bright air, and evoking fragments of the commination service from the disturbed watch below. while one man held each of them down, others scrubbed them vigorously, pouring a whole flood of sparkling brine over them meanwhile, until they were as rosy and sweet as any cherub of the nursery after its bath. this treatment, so mournfully and regularly resented by them, was doubtless one reason why they throve so amazingly, although the liberal rations of sea-biscuit and peasoup supplied to them probably suited them as well as any highly-advertised and costly provender would have done. their tameness was wonderful and withal somewhat embarrassing, for it was no uncommon thing for them to slip into the men’s house unseen during the absence of the crew, and, climbing into a lower bunk, nestle cosily[116] down into the unfortunate owner’s blankets and snore peacefully until forcibly ejected by the wrathful lessee.

our passage was long, very long, so that the old black sow littered off the cape of good hope, choosing, with her usual saturnine perversity, a night when a howling gale was blowing, and destroying all her hapless offspring but one in her furious resentment at the whole thing. jenny, like the amiable creature she always was, delayed her offering until we were lying peaceably in bombay harbour. there she placidly produced thirteen chubby little sucklings and reared every one of them. they were a never-failing source of amusement to the men, who, in the dog-watches, would sit for hours with pipes aglow sedately enjoying the screamingly-funny antics of the merry band. there is much controversy as to which of all tame animals are the most genuinely frolicsome in their youth, kittens, lambs, calves, pups, and colts all having their adherents; but i unhesitatingly give my vote for piglings, especially when they are systematically petted and encouraged in all their antics as were that happy family of ours. generally, the fat and lazy parents passed the time of these evening gambols in poking about among the men, begging for stray midshipmen’s nuts (broken biscuit), or asking in well-understood pig-talk to be scratched behind their ears or along their bristly spines, but occasionally, as if unable to restrain themselves any longer, they would suddenly join their gyrating family, their elephantine gambols among the frisky youngsters causing roars of laughter. usually they wound up the revels by a grand galop furieux aft of the whole troop squealing and grunting fortissimo, and returning accompanied by the two dogs in a hideous uproar of barks, growls, and squeals.

our stay on the coast was sufficiently prolonged to admit of another litter being produced in bimlia-patam, twelve more piglets being added to our already sizeable herd of seventeen. so far, these farming matters had met with the unqualified approval of all hands except the unfortunate boys who had to do the scavenging, but upon quitting the coromandel coast for the homeward passage, the exceeding cheapness of live-stock tempted our prudent skipper to invest in a large number of fowls and ducks. besides these, he bought a couple of milch goats, with some wild idea of milking them, while various members of the crew had gotten monkeys, musk-deer, and parrots. it needed no special gift of prescience to foresee serious trouble presently, for there was not a single coop or house of any kind on board for any of the motley crowd. as each crate of cackling birds was lowered on deck it was turned out, and by the time the last of the new-comers were free, never did a ship’s decks look more like a “barton” than ours. forty or fifty cockfights were proceeding in as many corners, aided and abetted, i grieve to say, by the sailors, who did all they could to encourage the pugnacity of the fowls, although they were already as quarrelsome a lot as you would easily get together. the goats were right at home at once; in fact goats are, i believe, the single exception to the general rule of the discomfort of animals[118] when first they are brought on shipboard. the newcomers quietly browsed around, sampling everything they could get a purchase on with their teeth, and apparently finding all good alike. especially did they favour the ends of the running gear. now if there is one thing more than another that is sharply looked after at sea, it is the “whipping” or securing of ropes-ends to prevent them fraying out. but it was suddenly discovered that our ropes-ends needed continual attention, some of them being always found with disreputable tassels hanging to them. and when the mates realised that the goats apparently preferred a bit of tarry rope before anything else, their wrath was too great for words, and they meditated a terrible revenge. another peculiarity of these strange-eyed animals was that they liked tobacco, and would eat a great deal of it, especially in the form of used-up quids. this peculiar taste in feeding had unexpected results. as before said, the raison d’être of the goats was milk, and after sundry ineffectual struggles the steward managed to extract a cupful from the unworthy pair. it was placed upon the cabin table with an air of triumph, and the eyes of the captain’s wife positively beamed when she saw it. solemnly it was handed round, and poured into the coffee as if it had been a libation to a tutelary deity, but somebody soon raised a complaint that the coffee was not up to concert pitch by a considerable majority. a process of exhaustive reasoning led to the milk being tasted by the captain, who immediately spat it out with much violence, ejaculating, “why, the dam’ stuff’s pwushioned!” the steward, all pale and agitated, looked on dumbly, until in answer[119] to the old man’s furious questions he falteringly denied all knowledge of any felonious addition to the milk. the storm that was raised by the affair was a serious one, and for a while things looked really awkward for the steward. fortunately the mate had the common-sense to suggest that the malignant goat should be tapped once more, and the immediate result tasted. this was done, and the poor steward triumphantly vindicated. then it was unanimously admitted that tarry hemp, painted canvas, and plug tobacco were not calculated to produce milk of a flavour that would be fancied by ordinary people.