twenty-five
james didn’t want the earthworm and the centipede to get into another argument, so he said quickly tothe earthworm, ‘tell me, do you play any kind of music?’
‘no, but i do other things, some of which are really quite extraordinary’ the earthworm said,brightening.
‘such as what?’ asked james.
‘well,’ the earthworm said. ‘next time you stand in a field or in a garden and look around you, thenjust remember this: that every grain of soil upon the surface of the land, every tiny little bit of soil thatyou can see has actually passed through the body of an earthworm during the last few years! isn’t thatwonderful?’
‘it’s not possible!’ said james.
‘my dear boy, it’s a fact.’
‘you mean you actually swallow soil?’
‘like mad,’ the earthworm said proudly. ‘in one end and out the other.’
‘but what’s the point?’
‘what do you mean, what’s the point?’
‘why do you do it?’
‘we do it for the farmers. it makes the soil nice and light and crumbly so that things will grow wellin it. if you really want to know, the farmers couldn’t do without us. we are essential. we are vital. soit is only natural that the farmer should love us. he loves us even more, i believe, than he loves theladybird.’
‘the ladybird!’ said james, turning to look at her. ‘do they love you, too?’
‘i am told that they do,’ the ladybird answered modestly, blushing all over. ‘in fact, i understandthat in some places the farmers love us so much that they go out and buy live ladybirds by the sackfuland take them home and set them free in their fields. they are very pleased when they have lots ofladybirds in their fields.’
‘but why?’ james asked.
‘because we gobble up all the nasty little insects that are gobbling up all the farmer’s crops. it helpsenormously, and we ourselves don’t charge a penny for our services.’
‘i think you’re wonderful,’ james told her. ‘can i ask you one special question?’
‘please do.’
‘well, is it really true that i can tell how old a ladybird is by counting her spots?’
‘oh no, that’s just a children’s story,’ the ladybird said. ‘we never change our spots. some of us, ofcourse, are born with more spots than others, but we never change them. the number of spots that aladybird has is simply a way of showing which branch of the family she belongs to. i, for example, asyou can see for yourself, am a nine-spotted ladybird. i am very lucky. it is a fine thing to be.’
‘it is, indeed,’ said james, gazing at the beautiful scarlet shell with the nine black spots on it.
‘on the other hand,’ the ladybird went on, ’some of my less fortunate relatives have no more thantwo spots altogether on their shells! can you imagine that? they are called two-spotted ladybirds,and very common and ill-mannered they are, i regret to say. and then, of course, you have the five-spotted ladybirds as well. they are much nicer than the two-spotted ones, although i myself findthem a trifle too saucy for my taste.’
‘but they are all of them loved?’ said james.
‘yes,’ the ladybird answered quietly. ‘they are all of them loved.’
‘it seems that almost everyone around here is loved!’ said james. ‘how nice this is!’
‘not me!’ cried the centipede happily. ‘i am a pest and i‘m proud of it! oh, i am such a shockingdreadful pest!’
‘hear, hear,’ the earthworm said.
‘but what about you, miss spider?’ asked james. ‘aren’t you also much loved in the world?’
‘alas, no,’ miss spider answered, sighing long and loud. ‘i am not loved at all. and yet i do nothingbut good. all day long i catch flies and mosquitoes in my webs. i am a decent person.’
‘i know you are,’ said james.
‘it is very unfair the way we spiders are treated,’ miss spider went on. ‘why, only last week yourown horrible aunt sponge flushed my poor dear father down the plug-hole in the bathtub.’
‘oh, how awful!’ cried james.
‘i watched the whole thing from a corner up in the ceiling,’ miss spider murmured. ‘it was ghastly.
we never saw him again.’ a large tear rolled down her cheek and fell with a splash on the floor.
‘but is it not very unlucky to kill a spider?’ james inquired, looking around at the others.
‘of course it’s unlucky to kill a spider!’ shouted the centipede. ‘it’s about the unluckiest thinganyone can do. look what happened to aunt sponge after she’d done that! bump! we all felt it, didn’twe, as the peach went over her? oh, what a lovely bump that must have been for you, miss spider!’
‘it was very satisfactory,’ miss spider answered. will you sing us a song about it, please?’
so the centipede did.
‘aunt sponge was terrifically fat,
and tremendously flabby at that.
her tummy and waist
were as soggy as paste –
it was worse on the place where she sat!
so she said, “i must make myself flat.
i must make myself sleek as a cat.
i shall do without dinner
to make myself thinner.”
but along came the peach!
oh, the beautiful peach!
and made her far thinner than that!’
‘that was very nice,’ miss spider said. ‘now sing one about aunt spiker.’
‘with pleasure,’ the centipede answered, grinning:
‘aunt spiker was thin as a wire,
and dry as a bone, only drier.
she was so long and thin
if you carried her in
you could use her for poking the fire!
‘ “i must do something quickly,” she frowned.
‘i want fat. i want pound upon pound!
i must eat lots and lots
of marshmallows and chocs
till i start bulging out all around.”
‘ “ah, yes,” she announced, “i have swornthat i’ll alter my figure by dawn!”
cried the peach with a snigger,
“i’ll alter your figure –”
and ironed her out on the lawn!’
everybody clapped and called out for more songs from the centipede, who at once launched into hisfavourite song of all:
‘once upon a time
when pigs were swine
and monkeys chewed tobacco
and hens took snuff
to make themselves tough
and the ducks said quack -quack -quacko,
and porcupines
drank fiery wines
and goats ate tapioca
and old mother hubbard
got stuck in the c –’
‘look out, centipede!’ cried james. ‘look out!’
二十五
詹姆斯不愿意蚯蚓跟蜈蚣再发生口角，于是，连忙冲蚯蚓说：“告诉我，你也演奏什么音乐吗？”
“不演奏，不过，我能干别的事儿呀。我干的有些事儿，还真不同寻常哩。”蚯蚓兴致勃勃地说。
“比方说吧。”詹姆斯问。
“嗯，那好，”蚯蚓说，“比方说，下一回你站在田野里 或者花园里，冲周围张望的时候，只需记住：地表上的每一粒泥土，你所能看到的每一丁点儿泥土，实际上，都是近几年来从蚯蚓肚子里吐出来的！这难道不是很不寻常吗？”
“这是不可能的事儿！”詹姆斯说。
“我亲爱的孩子，可这是事实呀。”
“你是说，实际上你吞泥土吃？”
“而且，吃得跟疯了似的哪！我从一头进去，再从另一头出来。”
“可这有什么意思？”
“你说这有什么意思，是什么意思？”
“你干吗这样做呢？”
“我们这样做，是为了农民呀。这样，泥土就变得肥沃松软，庄稼在里面就长得好。你要是真想知道的话，那么，农民是离不开我们的。所以说，农民喜爱我们。我敢说，他们比喜爱瓢虫还喜爱我们哪。”
“瓢虫！”詹姆斯转身望着她，说，“农民也喜爱你吗？”
“听人家说，农民是喜爱我们的。”瓢虫满脸通红，谦逊地答道，“事实上，我听说，有些地方的农民非常喜爱我们，竟然到外地去买我们，一买就是几麻袋，然后带回家来，撒到地里去。地里有好多瓢虫的时候，他们就很高兴。”
“可这是为了什么呢？”詹姆斯问。
“因为，那些吃农民庄稼的小坏虫子，都会叫我们吃掉。这个忙帮得可大了。而且，我们干了活，连一分钱也不收。”
“我看，你们真不错！”詹姆斯对她说，“能问你个特别的问题吗？”
“请吧。”
“嗯，那么，数数瓢虫的点子，就能知道她的年龄，是真的吗？”
“哦，不能。那只是跟孩子们说着玩的。”瓢虫说，“我们身上的点子，压根儿就没有变化。当然啦，我们有的一生下来，点子就比别的多，可从来没有变化哦。瓢虫点子的数目，只是用来识别她属于家族的哪一支脉罢了。比方说我吧，我是九星瓢虫。这你自己看得清楚。我运气不错，当个九星瓢虫可真不赖。”
“的确是这样。”詹姆斯盯着那美丽而猩红的甲壳上的九个点子，说。
“另一方面，”瓢虫接着说，“我那些不太走运的亲属，甲壳上总共才有两个点子！这你能想象得出来吗？她们叫做两星瓢虫。很遗憾地说，她们普通寻常，而且没有教养。自然啦，你还能见到五星瓢虫。比起两星瓢虫来，她们要好多了，虽说就我的趣味看，她们还是有点儿傲慢。”
“可她们又都叫人喜爱呀！”詹姆斯说。
“是啊，”瓢虫不动声色地回答，“她们都叫人喜爱。”
“看起来，这里几乎个个都叫人喜爱哦！”詹姆斯说，“这有多好呀！”
“可我不叫人喜爱，”蜈蚣得意扬扬地喊起来，“我是个害虫，可我为了这个骄傲！哦，我是这么一个叫人惊、叫人吓的害虫呀！”
“你们听哪，你们听哪。”蚯蚓说。
“你怎么样呢，蜘蛛小姐？”詹姆斯问，“世人是不是也都非常喜爱你呀？”
“咳，我也不叫人喜爱，”蜘蛛小姐长长地叹了一口气，说，“人们压根儿就不喜欢我。可是，除了好事儿，我什么坏事儿也不干。一天到晚在网子里捉苍蝇蚊子，我为人可是体体面面的。”
“我晓得你是这个样子的。”詹姆斯说。
“我们蜘蛛所受到的待遇，也真不公正。”蜘蛛小姐说，“喏，就在上个礼拜，你那个海绵团姨妈，还把我可怜的爸爸从澡盆的下水道里给冲下去了。”
“啊，多么可怕呀！”詹姆斯叫起来。
“我是在天花板上一个角落里，看到事情的来龙去脉的。”蜘蛛小姐喃喃地说，“真可怕呀。我们从此就没有见到他。”说着，一颗大大的眼泪滚下了她的脸颊，啪嗒一声掉在地板上。
“可把蜘蛛弄死的人，不也是要倒霉的吗？”詹姆斯朝周围的人望了望，说。
“弄死蜘蛛，当然是要倒霉的呀。”蜈蚣叫道，“有谁弄死蜘蛛的话，大概是要倒大霉的啦。就瞧瞧海绵团姨妈，自从把蜘蛛弄死以后，她怎么样了吧！只听哗啦一声，仙桃轧过她的当儿，咱们不是都听见了吗？哦，那哗啦的一声，蜘蛛小姐，你听了想必是很受用的！”
“是叫人挺满意的。”蜘蛛小姐回答，“关于这个，请唱个歌儿，好吗？”
于是，蜈蚣唱了起来：
海绵团姨妈肉儿肥，
大肚子来粗腰围。
浑身软得像浆糊，
耷拉下来一大堆。
有朝一日坐下来，
好不叫人啼笑皆非！
她还说：“我想减肥。
不吃饭，身材俏，
要跟猫儿比比美。”
可是来了大仙桃！
哦，多么美的大仙桃！
轧得她来薄又薄。
“唱得太好啦！”蜘蛛小姐说，“喏，唱个大头钉姨妈的歌吧。”
“愿意效劳。”蜈蚣龇牙笑着说：
大头钉姨妈像铁条，
皮包骨头太瘦削。
又长又细一根棍，
拿在手里什么用？
捅捅火炉实在好！
大头钉姨妈眉头皱：
“我得赶快想出路。
蜜饯、果脯、巧克力，
吃呀吃呀没有够。
一磅一磅肥起来，
吃得腰肥腿又粗！
好，我就对天发誓言，
变样就在天亮前。”
仙桃冷笑开了腔：
“我要叫你变个样，
把你碾平在草地上。”
大家都鼓起掌来，吆喝着叫蜈蚣再唱些歌儿。蜈蚣立即唱起了自己最拿手的歌儿：
说从前，道从前，
猪儿还是很野蛮。
为了身体壮，
母鸡闻鼻烟，
猴子嚼烟草，
鸭子呱呱叫，
箭猪拼命喝，
山羊吃薯糕。
赫巴德太太 [1] ，
一下陷在了……
“小心，蜈蚣！”詹姆斯叫道，“可要小心一点哦！”
[1]赫巴德太太，原是儿歌中的一个人物。